Friday, September 03rd, 2010 | Author: Erika

Last night we went out to dinner at a nice restaurant with my very bestest friend in the world and her hubby.  By we, I mean Wes, Aidan, and I.  I thought we’d be ok bringing the munchkin, because he’s been the very model of perfect baby behavior in restuarants up until now.  Quiet, patient, and calm.

I should have known it wasn’t going to last.

My first mistake was in making a reservation at a nicer restaurant.  The kind of restaurant that’s kind of quiet, and has dim lighting and tiny tables.  This is not the kind of restaurant that’s going to interest a six month old young man, and there wasn’t enough noise to mask his baby mutterings.

My second mistake was in not realizing that Aidan’s mutterings are loud at home and would be positively explosive in a quiet restaurant.  He’s working on talking, and for Aidan talking means opening his mouth and saying “AHHH” as loud as he can for as long as he has breath.  We have conversations like this at home, and it’s loud enough there.  In a restaurant, though, it’s deafening.

The third mistake was not realizing that the timing just wasn’t going to work.  He goes to bed at 7:30pm, our reservation was for 6pm…Yeah.  He started getting fussy and tired right around when dinner was served, so we all ate very quickly and then Wes took Aidan outside while we waited for the check.

We definitely got some irritated looks from other diners, which I understand.  I should have known better than to bring a baby to a nice restaurant.  I didn’t glare back or get embarrassed though.  I just took care of my baby and let the irritated diners take care of themselves.

My friend and her husband, to their credit, didn’t even bat their respective eyes.  They assured us that our child is adorable (and loud) and we assured them that the next time we go out for dinner we’ll let Aidan hang out with his grandparents.

I guess we just chalk this one up to learning experiences.  I am, after all, still considered a new mom and as such can not possibly be expected to know all things at all times.  Besides, I really don’t think Aidan would be trying hard enough at all if he didn’t routinely change things up and keep me guessing.

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Thursday, September 02nd, 2010 | Author: Erika

fight-club-soapIt’s no secret that I love the movie Fight Club.  In fact, if someone asked me to name the salient influences that have shaped the person I am today, Fight Club would be among the top three.

Why?  It’s not because of Brad Pitt’s abs, and it’s not because I like watching people pound one another into cookie dough or giggle at the phrase “all-singing all-dancing crap of the world.”

No, it’s because of the deep undercurrent running though the movie/book.  The message that our present society, with its obsessive drive to consume and beautify, is hollow and rotting from the inside out.

A McMansion in the suburbs with an SUV in the driveway and a vacation every year sure looks nice, but it’s really not if lurking underneath it all is crippling debt and an all-consuming dissatisfaction.  With everything.  Because the minute you buy something it’s out of date, and therefore you need to start obsessing about the newer version of it, until you can wrap your hands around it and start longing for something else.

I first saw Fight Club when I was in high school, at Wes’ recommendation.  The movie blew my mind.  The violence skittered away into the background for me, and the resounding idea I walked away with is summed up in this one quote: “The things you own end up owning you.”

It is that short phrase right there that helped shape the person I am today.  It’s the reason I wasn’t dissatisfied during the years when Wes and barely scraped by and I couldn’t afford to buy socks so I just wore the ones I had until they were literally dissolving beneath my feet.  It’s the reason I don’t care that my house doesn’t have marble countertops, or that my wardrobe only has four pairs of shoes, or that nearly everything we have for our baby is secondhand.

It’s because I know that what really counts can’t really be bought.  If my house burned to the ground, I’d be annoyed to have to replace birth certificates and clothes and stuff, but I probably wouldn’t be terribly bothered.  So long as the three of us made it out ok, I’d have everything that matters to me.

Wes and I do not live a fancy life.  Our couches are falling apart, our clothes are old and unfashionable, and we get our hair cuts at Great Clips.  But.  But!  We are so happy, you guys.  We’re content with nearly everything about our life.  Because what we value can’t be ordered from Amazon.

That quote from Fight Club, which I internalized in high school, helped me figure out that cultivating contentness or contentitude or whatever you want to call it separate of whatever stuff you happen to accrue is one of the most important things you can learn.

The reason Christianity is in the title is that Wes and I were discussing this topic on the way to church last Sunday, and then when we got to church Wes’ Dad was preaching about this very thing.  He didn’t bring Fight Club into it, but he did elaborate on the idea that, for believers in Christ, our treasure isn’t down here anyway.

He explained how God provides for His children what they need, and that to be anxious about finances or to be panicking at the recession is not really necessary.  Chasing money isn’t why we’re here, we’re here to serve God.  Wes’ Dad was much more eloquent and concise than I am, but that’s why he’s a pastor and I’m a blogger.

What about you?  What have been the salient influences in your life?  Do they have anything to do with Brad Pitt’s abs?

Category: Opinionated much?  | 2 Comments
Tuesday, August 31st, 2010 | Author: Erika

Cowboy Aidan 24 weeks old 2Aidan had his 6 month well baby check-up yesterday.  He is so tall for his age!  He’s 28 inches tall (90-95th percentile for his age) and 16 lbs 3.5 oz (30-40th percentile).  In reality, however, he might weigh less because shortly after he was weighed (right before I had the diaper fastened) he peed all over the table and soaked everything within reach.

He grinned and babbled and wiggled and jumped for his doctor, and she pronounced him beautiful and healthy as can be!  Of course, after she left it was time for shots, which I loathe and dread.  If I weren’t absolutely convinced they were the best thing for him I would refuse them for sure.

Aidan’s such a sweet boy, anything that makes him that sad ought to be kicked into the gutter, you know?  But, I’d rather a momentarily sad baby than a baby with polio so he gets his shots and I comfort him as best I can.

His nurse (we always have the same nurse and she’s awesome) gave him the oral vaccine first, and I warned her that he would try to “help” her with his little baby hands, and to just let him because it’s easier to do that than to try to fend them off.  When he was done, I clapped and cheered for him, which made him smile and wiggle with exuberance.

I explained to his nurse that he likes it when people cheer for him, and she laughed and proceeded to give him the first of his two shots.  He didn’t seem to notice it (she’s fast, you see) and then she gave him the second shot.  He always notices the second shot, and he shrieked and immediately started crying.

I picked him up and held him close, and then his nurse stepped over to where he could see her and started clapping and cheering for him.  He stopped crying, and promptly offered her a huge grin, his teary eyes making the smile even more endearing.  After that, it’s like he forgot he was upset and the rest of the day passed uneventfully.

It’s moments like that that make you so glad other people give a darn about your baby.  Sunday school helpers, teachers, nurses, doctors, family members, all these people don’t really have to care about your baby, but when they do it makes such a difference.  It makes the world feel like a decent place to raise someone you love.

Category: Aidan  | 3 Comments
Monday, August 30th, 2010 | Author: Erika

Happy Monday everyone, and welcome to a brand new week!

I found this, and simply must share it with you.  It’s a movie mash-up…Between The Muppets Movie and Ocean’s 11.  It. Is. Awesome.

Watch, enjoy, soldier on!  Monday is but one day, and it’s followed by Tuesday, which is the day of the week that’s as far away from Monday as possible!  So really, you’re almost there!

Friday, August 27th, 2010 | Author: Erika

Dad and ErikaToday is, well, quite frankly today is a day I’ve been dreading for a while.  It’s the one year anniversary of the day my Dad passed away, and I’ve been dreading it because it feels like it should be the end of my grieving period.

When he passed away, so many people said and did such sweet things for me and my brother.  Some sent flowers, some brought food, some sent cards.  One of the cards someone sent me said something that’s stuck with me.  It said, more or less:

“The first year is the worst, because it’s filled with all those firsts without that person.  Gradually, though, you’ll feel the sadness subsumed by the happy memories you built together, and thinking of the person you lost starts making you smile rather than cry.”

This person, Wes’ uncle in fact, is more or less correct.  The first year was hard, and there are very few days that go by where I don’t hold Aidan close and smell his little baby head and ache because my Dad won’t ever get to meet his grandson.  But, I don’t spend nearly as much time crying as I used to, and in fact can now share stories and memories of my Dad without misting up.

For example, while on vacation it was massively windy and my nieces and I, together with their parents, dashed outside to fly kites.  As those brightly colored kites took to the sky, it reminded me forcibly of how my Dad used to fly kites with me and my brother on the beach.  I smiled at those memories while my kite took to the sky.

Me and DadStill, as happy as I am to coexist peacefully with my memories once again, I’ve been dreading this day.  While I know intellectually that I’m only one day farther away from the last time I saw him than I was yesterday, now that it’s officially been a year since the last time I saw him, that day feels a lot farther away.  Does that make sense?

It’s just hard for me to get used to the idea that as time inexorably marches on I’m only going to get farther away from him.  It’s just feels disloyal somehow, to be moving on.  I know that’s silly, and that it would be unhealthy to hold onto my grief, but I’m loyal to a fault and have never been the kind of person who lets go gracefully.

My little brother, Nick, is one the left with our Dad in the middle and Wes on the right.

My little brother, Nick, is on the left with our Dad in the middle and Wes on the right.

So that’s where I’m at.  Wes has been forewarned that this was going to be a maudlin day, so he’s prepared to come home bearing pizza and cupcakes, and then to turn a blind eye while I eat my weight in said pizza and cupcakes.  I called my brother a couple days ago, and we shared some memories and generally agreed that we wish he was still here but that we were glad he isn’t suffering any more.

My little brother is an awesome fellow, actually.  You guys would like him.  He’s getting married in October, so Wes and I will take Aidan on his first plane ride and watch my little brother tie the knot.  Even though Dad won’t be there, I plan to say to my brother what our Dad said to me right before he walked me down the aisle.

And that’s how life will go on.  My brother and I will be there for each other, our spouses and families will be there for us, and we’ll keep being a family.  My Dad would be proud, I think.

Category: Cancer sucks  | 7 Comments