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2009: The End of an Era
Thursday, December 31st, 2009 | Author: Erika

Just for kicks and giggles, I looked up my New Year’s Eve post from last year.  In said post, I outlined my hopes for 2009.  Some of those hopes came to fruition (Wes and I expanding our family) and some didn’t (My Dad’s cancer did not run away).

I would say, though, that even with my Dad’s passing and saying goodbye to Doc, we had a pretty good year.  I was blessed enough to get to take one more trip out to see my Dad before he passed away.  We found out that we’re expecting a super-cute baby boy and that pregnancy agrees with me.  Wes finished school and ended the year with a big certification exam victory.

I mean, yeah, this year was not free from speed bumps.  It was, however, a good year.  We still have our house, we have our health, we have our son (and his health), and we have each other and our families.  No, we still don’t have cable TV and it’s been awhile since we took a vacation, but shoot.  Life is good, and I’m not complaining.

That being said, I still have hopes for 2010.  It’s a whole new decade, you know.  At this time ten years ago, I was a 14 year old girl who had just moved to Washington with her mom and her mom’s creepy boyfriend.  I spent New Year’s Eve on the computer, listlessly waiting for someone to sign on to AOL Instant Messenger so I could chat with someone.  Anyone.

Ten years later, I have a rakishly handsome husband, a very busy baby boy kicking my ribs, and a bottle of Martinelli’s with my name on it.  We’re staying in this year due to my propensity for degrading into a toddler after 11 pm, and I have no doubt we’ll have a splendid time doing it.

Here are my hopes for 2010:

  • A healthy baby and a safe delivery of said baby.
  • A good job for Wes.
  • A strong finish in school and good job for my brother.
  • The ability to endure the 30 Day Shred with Wes once the baby’s here.
  • To ring in the New Year next year having lost all my baby weight.
  • An excellent year for my company, including a successful site re-launch and doubled traffic.
  • A tenable solution for what I’m going to do at work next year when the baby’s here.

Much like with last year, I have no idea how these hopes will shake out.  Some may happen, some probably won’t.  The nice thing is, it’s a whole new year.  There’s nothing but the opportunity for great things to come.  I look forward to seeing what’s ahead, and though I know there will of course be challenges to overcome, there will be joy too.

What do you hope for next year?

Category: Lifestyle  | 2 Comments
Belly Pic: Week 32
Thursday, December 31st, 2009 | Author: Erika

I have to preface this picture with a disclaimer, so here we go.

I am on vacation, and have been for nigh on two weeks.  I have applied makeup approximately four times during this two week period.  This morning was not one of those times.  I am not consumptive, nor have I caught a dread illness.  This is just what I look like without my trusty cosmetics.

Phew!  Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I can show off what 32 weeks of pregnancy looks like for me:

Belly at 32 weeks

Look! You can actually see out the window because this photo was not taken before work! Hi, wheelbarrow and work shed!

Even though my belly feels huge to me, I don’t think it looks nearly as big as it feels.  I keep getting comments from people about how small I look, and it boggles the heck out of my mind because  it’s the first time in my life people have commented on how small I am.

Now, strictly speaking, I am not small at all belly-wise.  My measurements are all exactly where they should be, Squishy is a nice, normal size for his age, and my weight gain is actually on the low side of normal.

I think the illusion of smallness stems from how large I am in general.  During pregnancy, everyone’s uterus expands and grows at more or less the same rate.  A 32 week belly looks a lot smaller on a 5′ 11″ torso than it does on a 5′ 2″ torso.  Hence, comments that I’m small.

I think this may also be why I have yet to have a single stranger ask me when I’m due or try to touch my tummy.  I think people just assume that’s my holiday paunch and leave well enough alone.

Still, though.  I don’t feel small.  I feel like the Incredible Hulk when I realize that I burst out of all my sweatpants save one pair.  My belly feels impossibly big when I have to change how I chop vegetables because the knife keeps hitting my stomach.

I’m big, but I’m not.  It’s an enigma wrapped in a contradiction, like finding a chocolate covered pretzel in a fat free snacks bag.

Category: Squishy  | Tags:  | 2 Comments
Bubble Baths and Playgrounds
Wednesday, December 30th, 2009 | Author: Erika

Hey there, would you look at that?  The year is almost over!  Like, tomorrow is the last day of 2009!  A whole decade, which for me was characterized by growing up from teen to young adult, is a hairsbreadth from being kaput.

As I stare down January, in all its fresh start, resolution-ridden, cold weather profuse glory, I can’t help but feel a bit apprehensive.  January means a little something more for us this year.  It means we have two months (maybe less) to get a lot of stuff figured out before everything we know changes.

I…well, it’s very safe to say I dislike change.  I don’t like switching jobs, I keep an extremely clean house because I don’t like it when things move, and if a plan changes I get upset if I don’t have time to process it first.  It’s borderline autistic, but it’s how I get things done.

As January begins with February hot on its heels, I’m feeling ever so slightly out of my league.  I know my life right now.  I’m a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and an employee.  I’d like to think I’m pretty darn good at these roles.  I have no idea how I’m going to be as a mother.

I’m fairly certain that becoming a mother won’t change much how I behave as a daughter, a sister, or a friend, but it’s sure as heck going to change my role as a wife and employee.  These two roles are the most pervasive in my day to day life, and the upcoming shift has me feeling a little unprepared.

I make no secret of the fact that I love my job.  I love what I do, I adore the people I work with, it’s all around just very good sauce.  They’ve been patient with me in establishing my plan for when the baby is here, which is good since I’ve tried very hard to not think about what I’m going to do once Squishy is here.

I mean, it’s just so difficult to imagine what life is going to be like once this little baby is out and about.  I can easily imagine working.  I know all about that.  I have no idea about motherhood.

I’m sure there are some people who slip into motherhood like it’s a warm bath they’ve been looking forward to all day.  I hope I’m one of them.  I just feel like I’ve never seen a bath before and have no idea how deep it is because of all the bubbles.  And rubber duckies.  And I don’t know how to swim.  And did I mention the bubbles?

Obviously this baby is going to come whether I’m ready or not, and I’ll jump in with both feet because that’s how I roll.  But for now, in this deep breath before the plunge (a.k.a. the last eight weeks of pregnancy) I feel like it’s the first day of kindergarten and I’m not quite sure how to behave on the playground just yet.

So there you go.  How do I feel about my impending motherhood?  Bubble baths and playgrounds.  That just about sums it up.

Category: Work  | 4 Comments
Operation Ultrasound: Successful
Monday, December 28th, 2009 | Author: Erika

We just got back from our 32 week ultrasound so I thought I’d pipe up and get it all out while it was still roiling around in my brain.  Speaking of brains, Squishy has one!  It’s glorious!

Once again we managed to leave there without a single print-out picture of our little precious.  We brought our DVD from last time, which the tech put into the machine, but she forgot to hit Record until the very end so this still shot of Squishy’s face in profile is the best can do:

32 week ultrasound

As you can see, Squishy was feeling coy, and kept his adorable little face tucked into my placenta the whole time (In this shot, you can see the profile of his face but it’s kind of hard to tell because he’s facing my placenta.  It must be soft and cozy like a pillow or something).

If the tech had remembered to hit Record, I totally could have shared some awesome shots of his femur though.

He did come out for a super-brief second while the tech was doing the 4-D ultrasound and we glimpsed two eyes (yay!), chubby cheeks (yay yay!), and two tiny little baby hands hiding the rest of his face.  Of course, this moment was before the tech was recording.

Even though he was playing hard to get, he did cooperate with the measurements the tech needed to take, and we got beautiful shots of his brain (which looks wrinkly and healthy), his arms, his legs, and his tummy.

His kidneys look a little plump, which is something our pediatrician will keep an eye on, but I told the doctor that his kidneys are just plump because he had to pee and was uncomfortable going while people were watching.

He’s measuring right smack at average size for his age, which pleases me to no end.  Seriously, there was a graph showing us fetal weights and sizes for Squishy’s age, and there was a high line, a low line, and a line right in the middle and Squishy was right in the middle.

Unless the baby’s growth rate changes, the doctor who came in to meet with us told us it was safe to expect Squishy to come out weighing between 7 lbs. and 7.5 lbs.  Basically, a nice average-sized newborn.  My pelvis and I celebrated that news to be sure.

We also celebrated that Squishy is head-down.  Same as at the last ultrasound.  This child enjoys the blood rushing to his head, it would seem, and I encourage his blood-rush habit wholeheartedly.

The thing I liked best about this ultrasound was that I could feel that Squishy had hiccups before the ultrasound started, and then once we got going we could actually see him with his little baby hiccups.  Oh my GOSH, it was the cutest thing EVER.

We watched him practice his breathing (we could tell he was breathing because we watched his little chest expand and contract and his diaphragm go up and down), we watched him get the hiccups (twice!), and we watched him while he took big gulps of fluid.

This baby?  Is a champion.  He’s going to come out ready to breathe and eat and be awesome.  While intellectually I know that all fetuses practice these things in utero, because this is my baby I feel like Squishy is just way better at these things than all the other babies his age.

Oh no, I’m going to be one of those moms, aren’t I?

Category: Squishy  | 2 Comments
The Pregnancy Files: Week Thirty One
Sunday, December 27th, 2009 | Author: Erika

Will I ever sleep through the night again?  Everyone I ask has the same response: “Ha ha ha, not for the next 18 years!”  But seriously: Sleeping.  Will it ever happen again?

This week was a perfect confluence of sleeping troubles.  First off, Wes caught himself a head cold that resulted in much snoring and really icky throat sounds during the night.  As I lay awake listening to my husband snore himself into a coma and make horrid swallowing sounds that made me dry heave, it took every ounce of love I have for the man not to kick him in the shins.

Also vying for the Most Problematic Nighttime Annoyance Award was acid reflux.  This is the holiday season, which means tasty food is every-freaking-where.  This is a great problem to have normally, and when I’m in tip-top overeating form I can pack away the pot roast like no one’s business.

This year, however, my stomach is squished by Squishy and I can’t handle my beef.  I keep eating what I think of as reasonable portions and then wake up at night with the overwhelming urge to throw up thanks to my stomach’s refusal to accommodate that much food.

When everything goes smoothly, I can sleep like a champ.  The baby’s active at night (his favorite time to party is between 2 am and 4 am, I’ve learned) but I’m normally a sound enough sleeper that I sleep through it (the only reason I know he’s so active then is because of the above mentioned issues keeping me up).

Luckily, Wes is on the mend and there aren’t too many other overeating opportunities on the horizon.  This doesn’t, however, inure me to the effects of sleep deprivation right now.  I told Wes that it’s cool for me to be up all night while I don’t have to work, but if he’s still snoring when I’m working, one of us is sleeping on the couch.

In Squishy-related news, he had a growth spurt this week.  I woke up one morning and my belly was noticeably bigger.  I’m 99% sure he’s head-down (though the ultrasound tomorrow will either confirm or deny this) because all the wiggles I feel down low are little and delicate, like baby hands, and the up-top movement are all huge and sweeping, like knees and feet.

We played with him with a flashlight the other day and we’re not sure whether Squishy was into it or not.  The pregnancy books say that he can see the light now so we thought we’d give him something pretty to look at.  He was wiggling around, and continued wiggling after we introduced the pretty flashlight, so who knows what he thought of it.

I’ve also started reading to him at night.  That I know he likes, and it’s a good thing too because I’ve been reading The Dresden Files to him and if he didn’t like those I’m not sure what we’d do.

The nice thing about reading to a fetus is I don’t have to worry about subject matter, so if I’m reading to him about ghouls I don’t have to censor the scary stuff to prevent nightmares.  We may have to find different books to read at bedtime when he’s a little older.

Category: Squishy, The Pregnancy Files  | 2 Comments
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