TTDNST: Chipmunk Whimsy

I am so excited about this week’s Thing That Does Not Suck that I’m sitting here in my comfy chair giggling like a fiend and typing like a higher-than-a-kite chipmunk who’s just gotten back from a titillating date with a gentlemanly wookie.  I found these images on Friday of last week, actually, and it’s been more than a little torturous to keep them to myself all week.

But I did.  Because you guys deserve an awesome Things That Do Not Suck Thursday.  You’ve worked hard, doing what you do, and deserve a dash of nonsense and whimsy to get your weekend off to a good start.  And what could be more whimsical than a storm trooper riding a chipmunk?
Giddyup!

Giddyup!

According to the guy who took these pictures, these are real.  I guess there are a bunch of wild chipmunks that live in his parent’s backyard and those chipmunks have become quite friendly over the years.  Friendly enough to go on a date with a wookie, I guess.

This is exactly like Lady and the Tramp.

This is exactly like Lady and the Tramp.

But not friendly enough to resist being horrified by the fierceness that is a rampaging Ewok.

Can't you just hear the little chipmunk scream?

Can't you just hear the little chipmunk scream?

There are very few creatures brave enough to be friendly in the face of an irate Ewok.

Ready, Set, MID-TWENTIES!

Have you ever had a weekend that was so good it felt like a vacation?  Where you slept in until 11 AM one morning but didn’t even care because the only thing on your schedule for that morning was “sleep”?  A weekend with good food, meandering afternoons, and too many smiles to count?

I really hope so, because I just did and it was everything I ever dreamed it could be.  It was a total windfall too, which actually made it even better.  Wes was supposed to help out at a conference all weekend but ended up giving me an early birthday gift by coming home.

We spent Saturday afternoon washing our windows and running errands together, but the rest of the weekend was gravy.  Cold margaritas out on the deck, lazy conversations while making dinner together, clothes shopping (hooray!), going to see a movie, sleeping in until 10, and a huge and delicious breakfast every morning.  It honestly felt like being on vacation.

I’ve never been a “staycation” adherent.  Home is usually where I do the work I don’t get paid to do but don’t want to pay others to do for me, so I’ve never really considered it a viable vacation option.  That has definitely changed.  This weekend was definitely a vacation even though we didn’t go anywhere.  We had the best time just hanging out at home with plans or agenda.

Of course, getting to go clothes shopping and getting some really cute new summer clothes certainly didn’t hurt things, nor did the completely amazing barbecue Wes’ family put on for us.  The fun phone calls I received from my family, the doting attention of the man who may be is the absolute best husband ever born, and unabashedly delicious weather all combined to create the best birthday weekend I think I’ve ever had.

Sure, I’m now solidly in my mid-twenties.  I’ve had to leave my early twenties behind along with my dream of ever being an Olympic gymnast.  I’ll never again be able to blame my foibles on being in my early twenties, nor will I ever have skin as nice as this.

But!  What I will have is way better.  I’ll have more work experience so I won’t make so many dumb mistakes.  I’ll have a stable, thriving marriage and a house I’ve grown to appreciate more than I ever thought I would.  If I’m very lucky I’ll have children I can raise and teach and love to pieces, and if I play my cards just right I may someday have the ability to call someone a whippersnapper without sounding ironic.

In answer to the question you never asked, yes.  I was freaking out a little about entering my mid-twenties.  It just felt like the next step, and I was pretty comfy and didn’t really feel ready for any more step taking.  Thanks to a weekend filled with people telling me how much they love me, though, I’m thinking a lot less about the number and a lot more about the life attached to it.  It’s a good one, I think I’ll keep it.  Even if it means relinquishing my youth one year at a time.

Blogging Under the Influence

Before I type anything (besides the words I just typed {and those too}) I must preface this post by coming clean about one thing: I am under the influence.  Of a cold.  A nasty sore throat I woke up with yesterday that sprouted fangs and a nasty thrashing tail overnight to become this terrible mind-clouding fog that makes me forget where I put my purse and gives me reason to believe I may have driven home with the emergency brake on the whole way.

That being said, this post runs the risk of not making any sense.  This is a shame since my cold has convinced me that I am particularly profound today and that this post could change lives.  Or save lives.  Or has nine lives.  It’s definitely one of those three.

The subject of this post is that which I wrote of in my last post: the new Terminator movie.  Wes and I decided to see it yesterday and I exited the movie theatre with mixed feelings.  Something was bothering me but I couldn’t quite put my birthday cake-encrusted finger on it.

I blame my cold for obscuring my thoughts on the matter.  In an effort to discern what was fashing me so much about the movie, I turned to my favorite source for all things movie review: Pajiba.  If you’ve never visited this site, I highly recommend you do so the next time you’re waffling about whether you want to see a movie.  Yes, the reviews are scathing, but they’re also incisive and helpful without being hoity-toity-I’m-better-than-you-because-I-went-to-film-school-for-one-semester-until-I-dropped-out-to-work-at-Blockbuster-and-scowl-at-people.

The Terminator review really said anything I could have said, only better because that guy sounds really smart and stuff.  I’ll attempt to ad to what he said, but I do so in good conscience only by telling you that his review is much, much better.

Essentially, I left the theatre feeling a bit let down.  On its own, taken as a simple action flick, it does its job.  The action scenes are bone-rattling and completely enthralling, there are subtle dashes of call-back humor to brighten the mood, and the story moves along at just the right pace.

***There could potentially be spoilers henceforth, but not really.  They’re not really spoilers but they toe the line.  You have been notified.***

As a story, though?  No dice.  I don’t really think the movie accomplished much.  It’s basically the same as the others, wherein the heroes of the story continue the war against the machines and the movie ends with them winning a battle against the machines but reminding us that they haven’t won the war.

The problem is, at the fourth movie into the story, it would be kind of neat if there were some glimmer of hope.  But there’s not.  There’s just one battle won and the bleak likelihood that they will continue to make as many Terminator movies as they can until people like me stop paying to see them.

I guess my fear is that there’s no end in sight for this story.  I want these movies to be leading up to something, but I fear we’ll wind up with some crazed half-baked mish-mash of crap like with what happened in the Pirates of the Caribbean series.

We’ll see.  Word on the street is that they’re already making the next one.  I can only hope that Terminator: Salvation offers no resolution because the screenwriters are building up to a nice fat climax in the next one.  I’m tired of winning battles.  After twenty-odd years I’d really like to know the end of the war is in sight, y’know?

TTDNST: My Birthday Gift Was Terminated

Grrrrrr.

Grrrrrr.

When I was young I used to have this recurring nightmare in which I went bowling with friends and the party was broken up when a terminator robot busted into the bowling alley and slaughtered everyone.  I escaped the building and hid under a car until the terminator removed his head and rolled it under the car, whereupon it exploded and I woke up.

Knowing this, you’d think that I hated the terminator movies but you’d be wrong.  I have no idea how old I was when I first saw a naked Arnold Schwarzenegger stroll into a bar to the tune of “Bad to the Bone,” but I have loved the movies ever since.  It’s been approximately one million years since I watched one, but I still hold a very dear place in my heart for those movies.

As a result, this week’s Thing That Does Not Suckis a no-brainer: The new Terminator movie.  I’d always been curious about what the post-apocalyptic world of the future the first movies hinted at looked like, and now I get to find out.  I have no idea whether or not the movie is any good, but I have to be honest: I’ll probably love it even if it’s terrible.  What can I say?  We all know I’m a sucker for action movies of dubious quality.

Also, it certainly doesn’t help that the movie stars Christian Bale.  I have a lot of respect for him as an actor after watching what he did to himself to star in the movie The Machinist (dude, I’ve never seen a living person get that skinny).  I think he’s terrific in the Batman movies, I adored his performance in 3:10 to Yuma, and I think he was creepy as could be in American Psycho.  He’s a fine actor, and I have faith he’ll make the new Terminator movie look good.

The extra-special treat?  The movie muckety-mucks in Hollywood must have known how much I love the Terminator movies because they decided to release the movie right before my birthday.  How sweet, right?  I can’t think of a better, more thoughtful gift from them!

Hopelessly Boring

There’s so much dirt under my fingernails right now that, if you didn’t know better, you’d think I moonlighted as an earthworm or something.  I decided to do a little light yardwork after dinner (being as how my husband isn’t here and all) and one project turned into fifty and before I knew it I was re-planting tulips and re-locating a massive clematis that just happened to be growing right on top of a rose.

I’d show you pictures but that would require me to get up and abandon this lovely ice cream I’m currently spending time with.  That’s not going to happen.  What is going to happen is that we shall see whether my mad re-planting skills work on the clematis I moved.  I feel like I just transplanted an organ and shall be waiting on the tips of my toes to see if this sucker’s gonna make it or croak.

I hope it makes it, but if not I won’t cry or anything.  It was choking out my rose bush, so it was either the clematis or the rose.  Between the two, I think moving the clematis was the only real option there.

It just occurred to me that I’m hopelessly boring sitting here talking about plants and yardwork.  Unfortunately, this is about as exciting as I’m gonna get tonight so I’d better go before I cause y’all to start dozing at your desks.  I can just imagine it now, your co-worker or spouse or roommate stumbles across your inert form lying prone across your keyboard and he/she takes off running down the street, flagging a policeman (who looks like a British constable) and pleading, “Stop her before she bores again!”

Let’s avoid a scene then, shall we?  I just finished the first season of Prison Break and I have no desire to get shipped off the clink.  I have no time to get a full-body tattoo and would probably just read it backward anyway even if I did.