Mostly Harmless

Remember my OB-GYN?  The guy I was seeing before I made the big switch to being cared for by midwives?  I’m really glad I left things on a good note with him, because I had to go see him on Monday and my goodness nothing scares me more than an OB-GYN with a grudge.

I walked into the office feeling like a bit of a pariah, really.  After all, I had been a happy patient there for quite some time.  I peed in a cup, read the magazines, and fully intended to have my baby at the hospital.  Then, I changed my mind and did something most OB-GYNs consider very foolish: had my baby outside a hospital.

It wasn’t hard to see that I made the nurse uncomfortable as she interviewed me about my birth.  She asked all the normal questions (Aidan’s birth date, birth weight, etc.) but when she got to the part about where he was born (at an independent birth center) and how the birth went (she looked perplexed when I assured her that I found the birth fun) she got noticeably uneasy.

Then, my doctor walked in.  He welcomed me back, and asked a lot of the same questions.  When I told him I thought the birth was fun, he just shook his head and kept writing his notes.  Being the considerate person I aim to be, I thought I’d lighten the mood a little by assuring him he wouldn’t have wanted to deliver me anyway.

I described how loud I was (I can guarantee that my bellowing wouldn’t have gone over very well in a hospital), how stubborn I was (I had my one position in my one corner of the bathtub and I wasn’t moving no matter how many times I was asked), and how, thanks to said stubbornness, my midwife practically had to climb in there with me to catch Aidan as he came rocketing out.

While I recounted my tale, my doctor stopped taking notes and just stared at me for a minute.  Then, a huge smile washed over his face and he said, “Yeah, I don’t go swimming.”  And just like that, I became the well-loved but mostly harmless weirdo patient.


My poor blog.  I’m going to have to hire a maid service to clear off all these cobwebs.  I don’t have time to clear the cobwebs off my house, let alone my blog!

I believe I’ve written before about how, even though ostensibly I’m a stay at home mom with oodles of spare time, I still seem to keep stumbling into black holes that eat up my day before I’ve even finished my morning coffee.

He's a little disgusted by how quickly I ate that English muffin.

He's a little disgusted by how quickly I ate that English muffin.

For example, let’s look at Friday.  I had a dentist appointment on Friday, at 9:30 in the morning.  I woke up later than I should have, and spent 45 minutes frantically getting dressed, placating the baby, scarfing an English muffin, feeding the baby, and then scooting out the door as quickly as my denim-clad legs could carry me.  I dropped Aidan off with Wes’ mom, did the whole dentist thing, went back to get Aidan, came home, put him down for a nap, and ate lunch.  By then it was 1 in the afternoon, and the only thing I’d accomplished was going to the dentist.

Sad panda!

As ridiculous as my days seem to me now, I do manage to squeeze in some worthwhile stuff (you know, besides keeping my baby alive and nurturing him toward greatness and all that).  I went into work during Aidan’s nap time last week and it felt great.  For one, I have a really sweet computer set-up there (dual monitors!!!) and for another, I have some fabulous coworkers.

I spent two hours building new pages for the website and problem solving and when I went home I felt energized and refreshed.  If nothing else, it confirmed for me that even though there are definitely days when I would much rather take a nap than get some work done, working (even my paltry five hours a week) is essential to helping me feel fulfilled as a mother.

He's appalled to think I need anything else to occupy my brain during the day.

Aidan, working on being more stimulating.

I mean, for sure my baby occupies a staggering amount of my brain power.  I’m trying to figure out a nap schedule for him right now and it’s eating my brain, and don’t even get me started in trying to figure out an organizational system to keep up with how fast he outgrows clothes.

But, having work problems to solve stimulates other parts of my brain, and that’s making me very happy indeed.

First Date Anxiety

I was chatting with my sister in law last night about first babies.  Specifically, the way having a baby can really mess with your head those first few days.  I’ve made no secret of the fact that I struggled during Aidan’s first days.  I loved him, and I felt very loved and taken care of, but the drastic change in my life and routine sent my head spinning.

As our new routine emerged, I eased into my new life.  It looked nothing like my pre-baby life, but it was no less fulfilling for being different.  Every day helps me feel a little more like I’ve got a handle on my new life as a mother, and I can’t even tell you how good that feels.  Aidan and I have a lot of fun together, and even though I’m not perfect I know my little guy is healthy, happy, and learning.  Good enough, in my opinion.

What I haven’t gotten a handle on yet is being a wife too.  Before Aidan was born, I feel like I was a pretty good wife.  Wes and I devoted a lot of time to each other and to our marriage.  It’s very easy to give a ton of attention to your spouse when there’s no adorable little baby to steal the show.

It’s been almost six weeks since Aidan joined our world, and Wes and I still have yet to go on a date.  We are terrific parents to our baby, and we help one another as much as possible, but we’ve definitely gotten out of practice paying attention to one another.  So, we’re going on a date!  A real date, with just the two of us, where we make eye contact and get to eat at the same time without one of us holding the baby.

According to Wes, we’re going to go on a quest for the best burger in Seattle.  Sounds like fun, no?  Is it weird, then, that I feel anxious?  I’ll be expected to converse with my husband, and I have nothing to talk about except Aidan.  I am the most boring person on the planet, how am I possibly going to make sparkling conversation with my husband?

Maybe the first post-baby date is supposed to be a little rough?  Maybe everyone gets out of practice being spouses when they’re getting used to being new parents?  I don’t know.  What I do know is I could use some good conversation topics for my first post-baby date with my husband.  Any of you have any good topics of conversation?  Any cool tidbits you’ve learned?  Random facts?  Gossip or news items?  Help!