There’s a new phenomenon sweeping the Mitchell household. It began on Friday, courtesy of an ingenious colleague of mine, grew into a menace on Friday night, and has since swept up everyone we know and hold dear and taken them along for the ride. That phenomenon? Chuck Norris jokes.
Just so you know…
- When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
- If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you do.
- Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
- Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn just needs to lie the f*** down.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- There is no “Ctrl” button on Chuck Norris’ computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
- Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
- Apple pays Chuck Norris $.99 every time he listens to a song.
- Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
- When an episode of “Walker Texas Ranger” aired in France, the French surrendered just to be on the safe side.
- Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.
- Many people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
I could literally go on and on, but this blog post would get too long and then no one would be happy. If you’re still wanting more, the sites I linked to above have TONS more of these so go have fun. If you find a good one, post it in the comments section so I can laugh too!