An Assault on the Weekend

Today’s shaping out to be a pretty good day. I left work a tad earlier than normal and saw the sunshine for the first time in about a million years. I ate pizza for lunch (’twas amazing. Has there ever been a culinary masterpiece to rival a good pizza? I think not). Not to mention I got to try holding an assault rifle for the first time.

It was a lot bigger than I thought it would be. I guess when you’re used to seeing huge steroid-wracked men run around jungles carrying rifles they can look a tad smaller than they do in real life. The rifle was also surprisingly heavy. It wasn’t even loaded but my arms felt tired after holding it for just a few moments. I can’t even imagine what it would feel like when it’s full of bullets.

I’m very lucky in that I’m not clueless around guns and, as such, don’t really feel scared around them at all (Notable exceptions being when the guns are pointed at me, in which case I’m as scared as any other sap). My Dad made sure my brother and I were gun-literate so as to ensure we wouldn’t have any ignorance-related accidents with said guns.

The only problem is that now I really want to go to a shooting range. Not to shoot with a rifle, mind you, because I reckon a rifle would plumb dislocate my girly little shoulder, but with a handgun. Something small caliber would suit me just fine.

Would you like photographic proof? Allow me to indulge you:

Now, a picture this incriminating just begs for a good caption. In the spirit of Friday, I would like to invite all of you (Yes, even those of you who never think you’re as clever as you really are. Actually, especially you) to volunteer captions for this photo. I’ll kick things off and then I would love to spend my weekend reading your ideas. Don’t leave me hanging!

Here’s my caption: Just another Libertarian running around with a gun.

Ok, muchachos: Your turn!

18 thoughts on “An Assault on the Weekend

  1. -Working Girl, That is hilarious, but kind of scary-true.

    -Kira, Exactly! The smile is what throws them off…

  2. -Heck I’ll even shoot away this bad economy if that’s what it takes

    I know its kinda lame, but after the horrendous layoffs yesterday that’s all I have been thinking

  3. -Perception, Totally not lame! If I could blast away everyone’s economic troubles I SO would. Good luck withstanding the layoffs!

  4. -Hamburglar, I always thought safe sex was never giving out your real name…? TOTALLY kidding, but good one!

  5. -Wes, I’m the jolliest terminator ever, I think. I’m having the time of my life while pumping rounds into a deranged killing machine from the future. Go me!

  6. -Cindy, Honing my customer service skills indeed! I suppose it wouldn’t help to email that picture when I’m having trouble with AR, would it?

  7. “Now the only problem was finding a good M4 to match her sweater

    Seriously though, while I’ve never fired one, that particular weapon fires a 5.56mm bullet, which produces very very little recoil, despite being one of the fastest rounds out there at three times the speed of sound.

    Is that the weapon of a certain young gentleman who used to play a lot of pool with your paramour and I? If so, he changed the stock.

  8. -Dane, That flowery pink rifle is, quite simply put, the most amazing thing I’ve seen in at least 12 days. That’s awesome, and for sure something I’ll have to look into should I ever decide to own a gun.

    How could you possibly know how big the bullet is for that gun? Or, for that matter, how fast it travels? I’m summarily impressed.

    This gun belongs to someone I’m certain you’ve never met. It was, in fact, brand new and had never been fired. I think I know the person of whom you speak, however, and shall have to arrange to go shooting with him someday. Perhaps the next time you’re in town.

  9. Well, I thought it was an M4 variant, but if it is not then I could be wrong about bullet size. If it’s not 5.56mm (.223 caliber), then it is ALMOST certainly 7.62 caliber, which is a heavier round that I have fired but is still easier to control I’m a rifle than a .45 is in a pistol. What sort of rifle is it?

  10. -Dane, I’ll have to ask the guy…Something about an XCR…? Does that ring a bell at all?

  11. -Dane, Now, when you say “easier to control in a rifle, does that mean it’s more likely ro result in me only getting a cracked shoulder or me shooting the ceiling? You have to remember: The total lack of upper body strength club meets here daily.

    -Mrs. Higrens, With a gun that big, I doubt anyone would want to be first!

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