Bouncing Baby Watermelon

I was driving home in the blazing heat today and saw a woman pushing a stroller down the sidewalk. She had the stroller covered with a blue blanket and I figured she was trying to get some exercise and protect her little baby from the unrelenting heat. No big deal, nothing interesting to see here, onwards and upwards, right?

Wrong. A bus drove by and generated a prankish swirl of wind that lifted the corner of the blanket from the stroller. I peeked inside (because I was at a stoplight and I wanted to see the cute baby) but I couldn’t see the cute baby because there was a watermelon in the stroller. A big one, strapped in where a baby ought to sit and protected from the heat by a baby blanket.

What did I do in response to this silliness? Why, I assumed she was delusional ala Lars and the Real Girl (which I loved) of course! I conjured an entire mental vignette of this woman buying a big watermelon at a store and strapping it into a car seat. I can see her laying it down to sleep in a crib, reading it books, and bathing it with baby soap. All the while, her relatives play along because they don’t know what else to do, only they have to switch out the watermelon-baby every week because otherwise her baby will get all rotted and squish apart.

Of course, she could just be a woman who walked to the store to pick up a watermelon and didn’t want to carry it back and so took a stroller along to help. This would probably have been the logical conclusion, but mine’s much more fun, I’m sure of it.

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