You know you’re totally screwed when you sit down to blog and start thinking of what to write about and the best you can come up with is how the dishwasher sounds like the interior of someone’s stomach. I’m definitely scraping the bottom of the idea barrel today, folks.

I could, for instance, write about how a customer at work today called me Darth Vader, or about how my dog’s breath smells so bad that when he yawns in the next room I can smell it. I could even go so far as to pimp my latest blog post over at Bottle Your Blog.

I wrote about tips for throwing an excellent Superbowl party and I kid you not, it was the easiest post I’ve ever written. The sucker practically wrote itself! The only problem is that now I really want it to be the Superbowl, but it’s not, so my mind is all dressed up for a party that no one’s throwing (yet).

As you can see, this is absolutely abysmal material to work with. Instead of boring you with the pointless minutiae of my day, I’ll share with you what is perhaps the stand-alone highlight of my day, silly as it may be: coming up with potential street names for the street Wes and I will live on someday.

It all started when I shipped something to a lady living on Numenor (It’s from the Lord of the Rings, in case you’re wondering) Drive. I sent Wes a message saying that was pretty cool. He then informed me that a friend of his develops condos and has a lot of fun naming them after obscure Star Wars characters.

That really got us going, so we bandied about a few options for what we would name our street if we had the ability:

• Boba Fett Boulevard
• Endor Avenue
• Tatooine Terrace
• Calrissian Court

Our favorite, however, was definitely this: Antilles Avenue, named for Luke’s buddy Wedge Antilles (a.k.a. The best X-Wing pilot in this particular star system).

If you had the opportunity to name a street/avenue/boulevard/driveway/parkway, what would you go with?

When I first started blogging I was a total newbie. I had just enough common sense to figure out how to publish posts and that was about it. The longer I blogged, however, the more I came to realize that there are kinds of neat accessories you can add to your blog! So, I immediately procured for myself a feed using Feedburner, a registration with Technorati, and an RSS feed with Qvisory (all of which are viewable in the right-hand column.)

One neat little toy you may not have known about, however, is Google Analytics (AKA the best thing ever.) It’s a line of HTML code that you install on your blog that allows you to collect information about the traffic on your blog (e.g. how many people come to the site every day, how long they stay, etc.)

I was looking through my site’s statistics last night and burst out laughing. One of the pieces of information that Analytics reports back on is how people find your site. A lot of my visitors come here by accident from search engines (welcome!) and usually the things they’re searching for have absolutely nothing to do with my blog. They do, however, wash up on the shores of my blog from time.

What makes them fun, however, is to see the search terms they’ve entered in order to find me. These terms reflect as much about me as they do them, so it is with great mirth and joy that I present to you:

The Top Ten Search Phrases That Have Led People to My Blog:

1. What kind of dog is Grumpus (I’m not entirely sure, but he’s either really cute or really mean)
2. How to come down from cocaine when I have to be up in two hours (This is an excellent question. Have you tried nitroglycerine?)
3. Amphetamine IV (Great, now the FDA will think I’m up to all kinds of no good)
4. Avoid feminists (Sounds like good advice)
5. Car accident ducklings (Obviously, I’m not the only one who’s suffered at the hands of those nefarious ducklings!)
6. When I was little my favorite game to play (If you have to search for what your favorite game to play was, perhaps that shouldn’t be your biggest concern)
7. Puppies sickness – uncontrolled crying (Try taking the puppy outside to the bathroom)
8. Birthday present+actress+adult (I’m pretty sure this person wasn’t looking for a blog…)
9. Puppy pedicures (Sadly, this person will only learn how to mess this up on my blog)
10. Today puppy daeler email address (I don’t even know what this means)

I think it’s pretty clear that we’ve covered a lot of ground on this blog. Lots of fun for everyone!

Oh man, we had a doozy of a night last night. Between the thunder and lightning ALL FREAKING NIGHT I think we got a total of three hours of sleep. I have a lot of trouble sleeping when I can hear thunder because it scares me a little and makes my heart pound. For some reason, it’s hard to sleep when your heart is pounding like you’ve just finished a run up the stairs. Well, maybe your heart doesn’t pound when you run up the stairs. Then again, you probably don’t eat as many desserts as I do.

Adding to the always-awesome effects of sleep deprivation is the fact that today is the day before a day off. Wes and I don’t have work tomorrow so I’m having an exquisitely hard time focusing on what I’m supposed to be doing. Like, you know, working.

I did manage to cobble together some semblance of productivity today, so I think we’ll just take what we can get and move on.

Speaking of moving on, I have the unique privelege of baking not one but two cheesecakes this weekend! It appears that word spread at work and today I was presented with money by two of my colleagues and asked to bring two cheesecakes with me to work on Monday.

Quite frankly, I’m flattered enough to be embarassed a little. The fact that people would pay money for my baking makes me blush from the roots of my hair down to my toenails. It also makes me wonder what the cashier at Safeway will think of me when I check out with six packages of cream cheese, two containers of sour cream, and a pound of butter. He’ll probably just think that I’m a suicidal lactose intolerant.

Either way, Sunday will find me in the kitchen crushing graham crackers, fluffing cream cheese, and probably just being nervous about screwing up. It’s one thing to bake cheesecake for my husband, who’s kinda stuck with me regardless of whether or not I make good food, but it’s quite another to bake a cheesecake for someone who’s paid good money for it.

In other news, Wes finally received all the parts for his new computer. For the last week, we’ve been receiving bits and pieces of the Precious and the last piece finally arrived today. He spent the majority of yesterday and today tinkering, assembling, and formatting and it’s finally up and running. It’s really snazzy from what I can tell. The mouse, keyboard, and CPU all emit a bright blue glow, as though radioactive.

At this point, I’m forbidden from entering his studio until the Precious is assembled and safely ensconced in its protective carbon-steel fortress. It appears that Wes is not under the impression that the Precious would be best served by me accidently crushing the video card with my foot.

We are all optimistic that I’ll soon be granted entry priveleges once the Precious is done being formatted or something. It’s definitely something to do with the hard drive. I guess the soft drive didn’t make it.

When I imagine what may have happened to it all I can think of is an Oregon Trail-like scenario wherein the soft drive and hard drive are crossing the Rockies and the soft drive gets dysentery and is buried by the side of the road by the weeping hard drive. Times are hard for electronics.