My Pernicious Pet Peeves

Oh yay!  I’m excited, because the lovely ladies over at Girl Talk Thursday have another fun topic this week and I’m going to follow in Diane‘s fine footsteps and add my own list to the lists of so many others.  I did this once before, and had a blast, so I thought, “Hey, why not?”

Besides, it’s not as though my blog is drowning in new content this week (I wonder if slacker bloggers are on anyone’s pet peeves list…)

Ok!  So, my pet peeves…

People who misuse words that sound similar but really aren’t. For example, someone who uses eminent when they meant imminent.  Affect vs. effect, illicit vs. elicit, insure vs. ensure, you get the idea.  This bothers me most in writing.  When spoken, sometimes I can give someone the benefit of the doubt owing to speech patterns and the general unwieldiness of the human tongue, but in writing?  There’s no excuse.

Bad table manners. I don’t want to see you chewing away with your mouth open, hear you slurp your soup out of your spoon, or watch as your napkin sits unused by the side of your plate while food speckles the corners of your mouth and the top of your lap.  Sure, not everyone knows how to drink wine properly, and very few people know how to eat an artichoke at a fancy restaurant, but criminy.  How difficult is it to not behave at a restaurant like you’re eating a Hungryman dinner in your underwear while watching reality TV?

People who choose squiggly fonts in bright colors for their work emails. Unless you are the director of admissions for clown college, this kind of thing is not cute.  Or endearing.  It’s unprofessional, and it makes me want to delete your email without even reading it.  How am I supposed to take a requisition request seriously when it looks like a kindergartner scribed it with a crayon?

Calorie counts at restaurants. Actually, let’s just include most instances of the government trying to “help” me.  I don’t want your help.  I don’t need to know that my scone has 700 calories, I don’t want to pay higher taxes so you can “help” me get health insurance I’m able to procure on my own thanks so much.  If you want to help me, leave me alone.  I’m a big girl, I can decide whether my hips are capable of adding a scone here and there, and I can get health insurance on my own.  Seriously government, do us all a favor: Stop “helping” the economy with stimulus packages and just leave us alone.  Your spending is helping all right.  Helping us all into an early grave.

Weed smokers at concerts. You’re standing there at a concert, super excited and waiting for the band to start playing, when the smell hits your nose: Weed.  Foul, stinky, weed.  Thanks to some jack-hole who can’t enjoy live music without being high as a kite, you’re forced (literally, you can’t escape thanks to the press of bodies all around you) to partake in an illegal substance against your will.  I don’t think weed is evil.  I don’t think it’ll ruin your whole life.  What I do think is that it’s inconsiderate to remove my ability to choose what goes into my body.

People who leave public bathrooms in complete disarray. I was at Babies R Us this weekend and the bathroom was so unspeakably foul I was actually angry that I had to use it so often.  How is it ok to leave toilet paper all over the floor, or bodily fluids dripping off the toilet?  Where is the decency, man?

That’s all I can come up with for now.  How about you?  Any pet peeves you want to get off your chest?

My Fictional Five

So, Diane of Dashoff has this lovely thing she’s gotten me into called Girl Talk Thursday.  I don’t plan to do it every week, but the one for this week is so much fun I just had to try it out for myself.

The topic this week is which five fictional characters you’ve always had a thing for.  Being a huge book nerd (and movie nerd) I, of course, started chomping at the keyboard to share mine so here goes!

1.  Louis from Interview with the Vampire.

louis

Of course, it doesn’t hurt at all that Brad Pitt played him in the movie, but I loved him in the book.  So brooding!  So passionate!  So tortured!  He made Twilight’s Edward look like a chump.

2.  Harry Dresden from Jim Butcher’s The Dresden Files.

dresden

Ok, this guy is amazing.  Honorable, brave, courageous, tall, powerful, and funny.  What is not to love? He thinks nothing of sacrificing his time and safety for others, and continually shows incredible moral fortitude.

3.  Dr. Gregory House from House, M.D.

dr house

Ok, he’s cagey alright but he has a delicious squishy middle that I can’t get enough of.  Intelligent, witty, and talented (at diagnostics and music!), he is awesome to watch but I fully admit he’d probably irreparably hurt my feelings in real life.

4.  Roland Deschain from Stephen King’s The Dark Tower series.

gunslinger

In the series, Roland is a gunslinger from a time before “the world moved on.”  He’s romantic in that he’s honorable and chivalrous in a world that has forsaken manners.  He’s also a ruthless, cold-hearted son-of-a-gun who’s seen more tragedy and loss than one hundred people.

5.  James Bond, specifically from Casino Royale.

james bond

Laying aside the fact that this is a fantastic movie all around, the James Bond in this film is so deliciously flawed and vulnerable that it gets me every time.  When he says to Vesper “I have no armor left, you’ve stripped it from me.  Whatever is left of me – whatever I am –  I’m yours” it just rips my heart out.

I fully admit that every single guy on this list is tortured and brooding in some way.  This amuses me to no small extent because I married and am deeply in love with the most loving, emotionally well-adjusted man I’ve ever met.  Just goes to show you, I adore all of these guys on paper/screen, but they would all drive me bananas if they were real.

I suppose that’s the point of fiction, then, isn’t it?  To give our minds a chance to go beyond the confines of reality.

Wesley and Me

I like memes.  Memes are fun.  Memes are festive.  Best of all, memes give me cheap blog fodder when I’m stumped for ideas!  I was originally going to blog about how Wes proposed to me (like I said, idea famine going on today) but decided to pull out this meme I got from Dooce awhile back instead.  It’s a series of trivial little questions about marriage and I thought it would be a fun thing to write about.

Should you read this meme, and decide that it sounds like fun, by all means participate in the comments section or do it on your blog and leave the link in the comments.  Either way, I win.  I think we can all agree that everything is generally better whenever I get to say that I win.

weserikafreshman

Look! High school sweetheart!

How long have you been together? We started dating seven years ago and got married three years ago.  If you were so inclined, you could call Wes my high school sweetheart.

How long did you know each other before you started dating? One year.  The day we met, Wes thought to himself “I just met my future wife” but didn’t ask me out for another year.

Who asked whom out? Wes asked me out.  He called and suggested we go for a walk together.  We met up, spent about an hour walking and laughing, and then he kissed me.  He didn’t call me again for a month after that and I was convinced that I was the worst kisser ever.  It’s distinctly possible I’m still mad at him for doing that.

How old are each of you? I’m 23, Wes is 28.  This age difference becomes less of a big deal every year, but back when he was 21 and I was 16 it was downright illegal.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple? I have a long, brutal history with depression and it’s one of the few things we have difficulty facing together.  If I’m having a bad day/week/month, it’s very difficult for me to communicate well and, as such, Wes can’t pick up the cues he needs to avoid stepping on landmines.  As I get better at dealing with it (I’ve been off meds for about two years now) I get better at giving Wes the information he needs, but it’s still a huge challenge for us.

Did you go to the same school? Not hardly (please see above re: 5 year age difference).  Wes did drive for three hours each way to see me when I was going to school up at Western Washington University though!  He went to school for music production and I went to Northwest University (after Western Washington University {after Bellevue Community College}) to get my degree in psychology.

Are you from the same home town? Nope.  I was born and raised in southern California until the tender age of 14, wherein I moved to the arctic wilds of the Pacific Northwest.  Wes was technically born in California but moved here when he was three weeks old.  He’s lived in the same city since he can remember.

Who is smarter? Hehe, if this isn’t a loaded question I’m not sure what is.  While I do have the uncanny ability to be right almost all the time, Wes’ IQ is technically higher (he tests well into the genius range).  Our strengths are in almost diametric opposition: He’s great with spatial reasoning, my verbal skills are off the charts.  We’re both musically talented, can pick up foreign languages with ease, and ingest huge sums of information accurately and quickly.  I’m not sure it’s possible to answer this question.

Click on the little “More” link if you’d like to keep reading!

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World’s Longest Post

I have been tagged for a blogging meme! What this means is that a fellow blogger, in this case the lovely lady from Perception, has tagged me to continue a meme she herself was tagged for. This meme is called “15 Things You Didn’t Know About Me” and here are the instructions I was given for it:

  • “For every answer for the following question you have to do a google/live image search and pick a picture on the first page with minimal explanation”

So, without any ado whatsoever, I present to you a photographic 15 things you may not have known about me (I have to say it that way because some of the people who read my stuff may be married to me or have known me since I was in diapers):

Favorite place: The kitchen, though preferably not with half-opened cupboards and cats in baskets.Favorite food: Anything and almost anything breakfast. Time of day is irrelevant, hot cocoa with whipped cream is crucial.Favorite color combination: Red and yellow, especially on flowers, pleases my eyes greatly. Not so much with the McDonald’s decor though.Favorite pet: Well of course that would be Doc Holliday, who was named after our favorite character in an awesome movie. Which would be Tombstone. Naturally.Favorite drink: This one was a heated tie between coffee and a cosmo but, at the end of the day, who am I kidding? One look at this photo and I’m making doe-eyes at the freezer.A place you’d like to travel to: Paris now, Paris tomorrow, Paris forever. I would like few things better than to spend a month in Paris, renting a petit apartment in paris and just living the life, taking in the culture, and eating baskets of bread and cheese.Favorite TV show: CSI is one of a host of shows that makes me go bananas, but it’s unique in that it’s made it eight season now without going completely off the rails.Worst fear: I sure would hate to drown. I gt panicky if I feel like I can’t breathe, so I would say drowning is my worst fear.First thing you’d buy if you had $1 million: Two old people. Sort of. I’d probably make sure Wes and I were set for retirement and hundreds of adventures during our golden years.What or who you’d want to be in the next life: I’d be nothing because I don’t believe in a next life. Just considering going through middle school again should be enough to cure anyone of desires for reincarnation.If you had to punch someone who would that be? Probably Chuck Norris, because I’m certain if I punched him I’d actually get some good sleep. And an awesome story to tell people.What would you do on a rainy day? Drink so much hot chocolate I’d never feel cold again.If you could time travel where would you be now? Right here. I’m thinking it’s a pretty good place to be.One thing that has fascinated you lately: Babies. The having of, caring for, and growing of babies.Now I get to tag three people! OK, Matt, Mrs. Higrens, and Lissie: Tag, you’re it!

Three Things

In honor of a beautifully sunny Friday I’ve decided today is a good day to play a little game. It’s called “3 Things You Didn’t Know About Me”. I’ll write it out on my blog and then you, the reader, can either respond in kind in the comments or on your own blog.

This is a little tough for me because I’m essentially an open book on this blog and you probably now know more about me than you even probably realize. So, here goes:

Three Things You Didn’t Know About Me:

  1. When I was little my favorite game to play with my brother was “Let’s Pretend”. One of the most frequent scenarios was that I was a wizard and Nick needed to buy a potion from me. This scenario stopped when my Dad realized that my potions were made out of his spices from the kitchen (which are pretty expensive). I believe my favorite one to use was Arrowroot. I still don’t know what it’s used for but even to this day it still seems intriguing and mysterious to me.
  2. When “Titanic” came out I was convinced that I was going to marry Leonardo DiCaprio. I even practiced writing out my signature with my first name and his last name. I never attempted to contact him, however, and surprisingly he never knocked on my door to whisk me away like I thought he would. When the marriage (obviously) never took place I decided that it was bad luck to write my name with someone else’s and never did it again. I never practiced signing my first name with Wes’ last name until an hour before our wedding when I knew he had signed the wedding license.
  3. When I’m flying on a plane I never look out the window on take-off. I have this silly little superstition that the plane can’t crash on take-off (which has always seemed to me the most dangerous part of a flight) if I’m not looking out the window. I’m not afraid of flying per se, I just see no reason to take foolish chances.

OK, beloved readers, it’s your turn. It’s Friday! Go crazy! Leave a comment! Tell me about your wonderful self!