And that? Is just about how my day has been going. Just one big brain cloud that follows me around wherever I go.

It’s not my fault, really. This has already been an incredible month, and it’s only half over. It started out with a project that I thought would preclude me from doing NaNoWriMo. Then, I finished that project early and started NaNo two days late. I was coasting along, really gaining momentum when BAM! ANOTHER PROJECT, this one even bigger than the first one and with little to no warning.

To add stress to projects, I hosted Thanksgiving at my house last weekend for my side of the family. Just me, a 19 lb turkey, 14 hungry mouths, and a small mountain of bread dough. It went really well (and by really well I mean the food was all hot and finished at the same time, everyone had enough to eat, and everyone got along) but I think I only sat down twice the whole evening.

In the midst of this maelstrom of cholesterol, my poor NaNo novel has been sitting on my hard drive, abandoned and stuck at a perpetual 14,843 words. I had finally caught up to where my word count was supposed to be when I got derailed by my GIGANTIC PROJECT.

I haven’t touched it in a week. As prolific as I can sometimes be, I doubt that even I can finish NaNo with a nine day deficit. It’s okay, this novel will get finished in December maybe. Or January. Heck, let’s go crazy and say maybe even February!

In the meantime, I’ll be over in the corner trying to console myself that I’m not a failure just because I didn’t finish NaNo this year. And yes, “console myself” is just code for eating chocolate. Talk therapy is cool and all, but chocolate is way cheaper.

Why?

Because novels are squirrely. At least, mine are. They start out as one thing, then do an abrupt about-face that leaves me trailing after them holding scraps of now-useless research asking, “WHY?!?!?!?!”

Characters I think will turn out to be a big deal excuse themselves from relevance, throw-away side characters extract themselves from the woodwork and steal the show. It’s a silly business, writing a book. For all the good plotting does me, I might as well just wing it and stop wasting my time on preemptive research.

When I started typing novel #3 on November 3 (I know, two days late. Whatever will I do if I don’t finish?!) I had every intention of writing about a ballerina jewelry thief. I had the story all laid out, I was excited about it, I even had the first line all typed out in my head.

Wanna read that first line? Here:

She arched one impossibly long arm over her head, bowing it over her outstretched leg like a taut branch supporting the weight of a bird. A tiny chorus of pops and crackles from behind her as the muscles in her back warmed up, stretched, remembered their soreness from yesterday’s class.

But then…I couldn’t get past this paragraph. I tried changing point of view, I tried starting somewhere else. Nothing. Writer’s block. Muy no bueno.

So, I started writing about something else. I had no idea where it was going, I was just writing for the kicks of it. And then I started meeting this entirely new character. And thought maybe this could be that zombie apocalypse novel I’ve always wanted to write.

And, Heaven help me, I think it just might be. Wes and I combined our considerable imaginations and came up with an entirely new (to us, anyway) kind of zombie, and now I’m 9,951 words into a book I have trouble not writing because it’s so dang fun.

I’m still behind on my word count. By the end of day seven I should technically be at 11,669 words, and in order to pull that off I’d have to write an additional 1,700 words today to cap off the 1,400 I already wrote this morning.

So, I might not catch up today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the day after that.

Who knows? By the time I catch up the novel may have changed again, morphing from a zombie apocalyse book into some kind of heartwarming tale of redemption and kindness and cracker sandwiches.

Stay tuned.

It’s November 3. And all my projects are done, way ahead of schedule. Dare I start NaNoWriMo late? Do I have the stones to thumb my nose at the prospect of failure and just toss my hat in the ring for the funsies of it?

HECK. YES.

I could fail. It’s possible, and maybe even likely. Instead of 30 days to write a novel, now I have 28. I’m like February over here.

Still, I can’t stop feeling angry whenever I see people hunched over laptops in coffee shops, writing what I’m sure are thousands of words of novels I want to read.

Screw prudence! I’m doing it. 50,000 words, I’m coming for you.

As for me and my house? We’re going to be pretty mellow tonight. Halloween candy, a photo op for Aidan in his tiger costume, and then a showing of The Nightmare Before Christmas with my brother and his wife. Mellow, relaxed, and sugary. Just the way I like it!

The reason we’re going to celebrate Halloween in such a chill manner is because Wes and I are exhausted. Maybe me moreso than him, but that’s tough to qualify. The reason? Sick toddler.

Aidan started teething a couple weeks ago, so he and I both stopped sleeping well at night. Then, when the teething looked like it was almost done, he caught a bit of a cold. Then he spiked a fever. A fever that came and went for four days.

Yesterday morning he was so lethargic and feverish and un-Aidan-ish I couldn’t look at him without crying so I got him the soonest doctor appointment I could find.

It turns out he had a 102 degree fever and a double ear infection. The poor guy was miserable!

So now he’s on antibiotics and he slept the night through last night for the first time in weeks and HALLE-FRICKIN-LUJAH and oh my gosh I’m so tired I could collapse.

And do you know what starts tomorrow? November. And NaNoWriMo. And the holidays.

You guys…I don’t think I can handle NaNo this year. The whole point of wrapping up my revisions for Enemy Accountant early was so I could rest for the last two weeks of October, but my child had other plans. Now I’m entering into a writing marathon sleep-deprived, exhausted in almost every way, and feeling about as inspired as a dirty gym sock.

I love NaNo. I love the thrill of it, the sense of community, the adrenaline. But I refuse to pick battles I know I can’t win, and this has failure written all over it. Never mind the fact that I have a freelance writing thing I’ll actually get paid to do this month. Never mind that I still need to write a synopsis and query letter to the agents who requested to read Enemy Accountant

The fact is, I’m just worn out and I can’t have fun writing this next novel if I feel like crap. And what’s the point of writing a novel if it isn’t fun?

There isn’t a point (unless you’re under contract) so I’m bowing out of participating in NaNo this year. I’ll get a pang every time I get a NaNoWriMo email, and I wish all of you who are participating the very best of luck, but this is not my year.

Maybe next year…Oh, wait. I might have another baby lurking around by then. Well, shoot. I’ll write another novel between now and then, I suppose.

For now, I’ll just eat my candy, and dress my kid up, and catch up on sleep. Or maybe I’ll just watch Deep Blue Sea while Aidan’s napping…

I, for one, am muy excited about NaNo this year. I’ve actually structured my entire writing schedule around it. Well, that and my brother and his wife’s arrival here in Washington. But mostly NaNo.

At this point I don’t really need NaNo to inspire me to write. I wrote PWNED in a month, but did it in March instead of November. I’m more than fine writing a novel in a month on my own, but I still look forward to NaNo every year.

The reason why is simple: It’s pure, high-octane creative mayhem fun.

There’s just something about tapping out a novel until your fingers ache, knowing people all around the world are doing the same thing, that is so dang fun. The excitement, encouragement, sense of accomplishment, and online community support are incredible. Especially when your region kicks everyone else’s booty every year in overall word count and invidual word count.

DUCKS FTW!!!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you like writing, you have what it takes to write a novel. No one’s saying it’ll be a good novel, but it doesn’t have to be to count as a NaNo victory. All that matters is that you extract the words from your brain and splatter them onto a word processing program.

Find a story and start writing. It’ll change on you, and so will your characters, but that’s seriously the fun of it. Meet some imaginary friends and start writing down what they say to each other. It’s one month out of your life where you are totally justified in being a pale, distracted recluse who mutters and twitches and sleep-mutters nonsense about word counts.

For more info about NaNoWriMo, check out the official website. I cannot urge you strongly enough to sign up and spend the last week of October relishing your freedom and thinking through what story you’d like to tell this year.

NaNoWriMo starts in seven days. Who’s with me?!

I’m about midway through the second of two big story climaxes, and I think I should have this thing all wrapped up by 75,000 words.  What a fantastic feeling!

I’m having a blast with this story, and think I’ve really found my niche in the mystery/thriller genre.  I’ve tried my hand at a couple chick-lit books, started a memoir I have no intention of finishing, and started and fizzled on a story about a rock star, but of all these novels the one I’ve loved writing most is this one.

One reason I love it is that I get to indulge my curiosities.  For example, today I spent a fair amount of time researching bombs, firearms, and lock picking.  My browsing history looks extremely suspect, but I’m having a blast!  I’ve looked up cities in Iraq, airport layouts, and made up some completely fictitious but still vaguely plausible stuff.  I’m a kid in a candy store, though what kind of person lets a kid into a candy store that has firearms in it?!

I should stop typing now.  I’ve reached that punch-drunk stage of writing wherein everything feels awesome and connected but is in no way relevant to anything else.

More to come soon, when I’ve written a little less and am feeling a little less punchy.  Mmm, punch…

This small respite comes at a perfect time.  We are approaching the end of NaNoWriMo (I’m sitting pretty at a little over 49,000 words) which has had me hopping all month, I quit my job and the last two weeks have been filled with last-minute projects and culling through resumes looking for my replacement, and we just hosted Thanksgiving dinner for my side of the family at our house last night.

It’s been a busy month.

But now a snow day.  Snow days always feel like a bit of a gift.  Perhaps that’s because they used to mean no school or work.  I don’t think that’s the only reason, though, because even Aidan seems extra mellow today, content to snuggle and read books and scoot around the floor.

As for Thanksgiving, it went really well.  It’s the first time I’ve ever personally been responsible for preparing the Thanksgiving meal, and hosting the holiday at my house felt like a rite of passage.  Wes and I forswore turkey in favor of making truly finger-licking-good ham, and I made green bean casserole and mashed potatoes.

In lieu of spending my morning swearing obscenities at my inept attempts at pie crust, we bought these really luscious pumpkin cakes from Whole Foods (a local natural foods market with a killer bakery) and took it easy.  My mother and her husband brought my step-dad’s famous Sweet Potato Pie (seriously SO GOOD) and my grandmother brought her equally famous Hot Cross Buns (they taste like the holidays).

It wasn’t a fancy affair.  We ate off pretty paper plates to cut down on dishes, and neither Wes nor I can really claim we slaved over the meal, but everyone enjoyed the food and there were no empty bellies at the end of the night.  I’d say that qualifies any Thanksgiving as a success.

So now I’m home with a sleeping baby, a couple open bottles of wine, a whole pumpkin cake, and about ten pounds of leftover ham.  If Wes comes home and finds me collapsed on the couch in a pile of pumpkin cake crumbs with a discarded ham hock and empty bottle of wine as a pillow, you guys will know why.

I had fun, because those three people had to like me.  I’m not terribly articulate, and often think of too many words at the same time and trip over them, but the three people we interviewed were not allowed to think I was a blundering weirdo.  Because I was doing the interviews.  Mwa ha ha ha!

We met some nice people, found a really awesome person who we think will totally bring it, and I’m counting the whole thing as a win.  My co-workers are taking us out to dinner on Friday night to say goodbye to me, and I have faith I’m leaving them in good hands.

As for my new career, however…Well, it’s entirely in my hands now.  I’m reading my new book, 2010 Novel & Short Story Writer’s Market, and taking notes like crazy.  I kinda feel like I’m cramming for a degree in creative writing, but I’m learning a lot so that’s good.

Things like character arcs (I’ve never had one of those), 3 act structures (black moment ha-what?!), and literary agents (I need one).  I’m taking the whole getting published thing as seriously as I can, and that means researching and learning.  This can only help, so long as I don’t allow myself to get intimidated.

To be honest, the whole prospect of entering short story contests (a great way to get your name out there. Winning gives you credibility and makes publishers and agents more likely to look at you) or attending conferences is a bit daunting.  But, the best thing to do to get started is to take a step.  Then another, then another.

So that’s what I’ll be doing.  High-stepping my way to…Something.

In NaNoWriMo news, I’m up to 37,278 words.  My plot’s holding steady under the deluge, though I’ll definitely have to go back and fix some stuff at the beginning.  My hope is that I’ll finish it and then not hate it when I re-visit it in a few weeks.  Revision is hard enough, but it’s even harder when you absolutely hate everything you’ve written!

And with that, I leave you with an entirely unsatisfying ending.  Because I wrote over 2,500 words today and I’m fresh out of really satisfying anythings.

Perhaps the sweetest person was Wes, who came home yesterday bearing chocolate, a how-to-get-paid-for-your-fiction book, and the news that he purchased a laptop for me!  I can finally realize my dream of being able to write while sitting in a coffee shop, and lo, it will be sweet.

I was afraid that by declaring my intention to pursue publication to the universe that I would psych myself into being too intimidated, but thankfully my novel is still scooting right along.  I stopped writing at 26,130 words this morning, which makes me a little over halfway done with my NaNoWriMo word count!

Truthfully, I see this novel going longer than 50K, and it’ll likely finish up at around 75K.  Which means I’m not halfway at all.  But I’m going to celebrate anyway.

While I write away, I’m also wrapping up my work for Bottle Your Brand.  Because the work I do for them requires such a specific skill set, I’ve volunteered to sift through the resumes of applicants in hopes of finding them some good candidates.

It’s been almost three years since I was a recruiter, but I’m pleased to say that those skills stick around for a good long while.  I continue to be appalled, however, by the laziness of some job applicants.

People who don’t update their resumes, who send form cover letters, whose job experience doesn’t even remotely match the job.  If I can offer any advice to job seekers, it’s this:

• Personalize your cover letter to the job you’re applying for.  Start by explaining what about the job and company you’re excited about.  Hiring managers like to know that you think their company is cool.  Then go on to specify what exactly about your previous work experience qualifies you for the job you want.  Keep it short and awesome.
• If you’re going to include an objective section in your resume, customize that section for the job you’re applying for.  No one cares that you’re looking to grow your skills with a thriving company.
• Don’t get too familiar in the tone of your cover letter.  You’re not getting invited to a kegger, so why would you think a hiring manager would care about your favorite kind of beer?

I kid you not, someone actually wrote down their favorite kind of beer in their cover letter.  What is this world coming to?

Thankfully, though, it’s going really well so far.  I’ve written 3,777 words, and I’m not worrying about refining and perfecting as I go.  Some of my sentences are terrific, some of them are merely passable.

What I’ve learned, however, is that you can spend a lifetime editing but the creation process itself should be a simple opening of a lever to let the ideas come out.  Spending too much time fixing and tweaking stifles the ideas, and then you end up with writer’s block and an unfinished, albeit promising story.

My story this year is about two people, a sheltered female recent college graduate and Iraqi-born Oxford-educated man, who meet while climbing Petra and take a photo together.  The woman goes on to become an innocuous housewife, but the man has been a double agent for the US government for years, providing them with intelligence on the plans and machinations of Al-Qaeda.

Al-Qaeda cottons on to the fact that the guy’s a spy, and search his apartment.  They find the photo of him standing with the woman, and assume she’s involved somehow.  They kidnap her with the intention of torturing information out of her, and it’s the man’s job to rescue her.

Mistaken identity!  Suspense!  Possibly an In-N-Out burger!

The thing I truly adore most about NaNoWriMo is meeting and learning more about my characters.  I was writing my male protagonist’s back story today, and I was surprised to meet him.  He just kind of unfurled his story for me, and I was learning right alongside my female protagonist.

Ask me how I’m doing in about two weeks, when I’m mired in the doldrums of the middle pages and wondering what in the heck I’m doing with my life, but for now things are going well.

Fellow novelers: How are you doing?  How can I encourage you?  Want me to do a soft-shoe rendition of Hello, Dolly?  I so will if it’ll make you smile.

Non-fellow novelers: How’s it going in general for you?  Looking forward to Thanksgiving?  Seen any good movies lately?