Archive for the ‘ Writing ’ Category

A Preponderance of Rambling

Please excuse the dust around here, I haven’t touched my blog in almost two weeks and the neglect is evident. I can barely remember how to type, my laptop is moping, and I’m fairly certain when I publish this post it’ll appear on the wrong website entirely because that’s how out of practice I am.

Serves me right for unplugging for a week, though. I should have known there’d be a price to pay. A full week of reading, chasing Aidan around, and marveling at the absolute worst July weather I’ve ever seen (rain! wind! thunderstorms! I even saw a locust, but there was just one of them so it didn’t qualify as a plague. Wes says it was a cricket, but I’ve already established that he doesn’t know things) and all I have to show for it is an alarmingly decreased work ethic and the hint of a suntan.

I’ve had adventures, though! I climbed a very steep hill made of discarded coal (it sat atop the bones of a defunct coal mine) and shared a hiking tip with Wes that my Dad taught me. I did drunken crossword puzzles with my sister-in-law and her husband (I’m decidedly better at crossword puzzles when I’m tipsy). I tried a Bacon Bloody Mary that was absolutely, positively disgusting. I ate approximately four million salted caramel macadamia nut clusters, and I listened to Aidan say, “Water” when we went to the pool.

Admittedly, my adventures are of the tame sort. That’s just how married suburbanite mothers roll, though, I’m afraid.

Slightly less tame was the handgun class Wes and I took before we left. We shot a variety of .22 and 9mm caliber semiautomatic handguns, and I learned two things:

  • The .22 caliber Colt 1911 handgun is my most favoritist ever, and I want to write it pen pal letters I miss it so much.
  • Glocks hate me. And I hate them. I might as well not even fire them, because I’m fairly certain I’m far more likely to hit the target by chucking the Glocks themselves than by trying to aim and fire them. Ridiculous.

The gun class was odd though. I expected the class to be mostly dudes, but there was an alarming preponderance of women in the class. Pretty women. Like, the kind who wear makeup, do their hair, and wear the kind of pants that sit so low when they sit guys like sitting behind them because then they know what kind of underwear the girls are wearing.

I later found out that the women were all of a group of friends who’d bought the Groupon together, but still. Do attractive women flock together or something? And why do they look so natural holding handguns?

On the writing front, I finished my short story before I left. I’ll edit and revise, and then make it available free for download because it’s fun and short and good practice for me. I’m scheduled to start writing Novel #3 in September, I’m attending a writer’s conference in August, and PWNED is likely going to be available in print format in four weeks or so. Woo hoo!

As for my second novel, Enemy Accountant, I’m still revising it so it won’t be available for public consumption for awhile. It’s good, though. I’m excited to share it.

And that’s about it. It feels good to stretch my neglected blogging muscles, albeit at the expense of a post that has a point. Maybe next time, eh?

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Bye Bye, Big Words

I haven’t had a chance to mention this here yet, but I received my very first piece of fan mail last weekend. An extremely nice guy took the time to write me an email after finishing PWNED, letting me know what he thought of it.

You guys. He liked it. He thought I pulled it off. He was a little skeptical when he first started reading it, but he said he enjoyed reading it overall and is glad he bought it!

Do you have any idea how mind-blowingly amazing that is? SO mind-blowingly amazing.

One helpful bit of feedback he gave me is to take a very hard look at the big words I use in my writing, and ask myself how many people will really know what those pieces of vocab mean. He mentioned the word “atavistic” in particular, and after revisiting it I see his point.

This is not the first time someone has noticed this. I wield a formidable vocabulary and sometimes have a skewed perspective on what constitutes a “big word.”

At first I rebelled against the notion that I should use smaller words in order to write at a level the general public is comfortable with. Stephen King uses big words! I’m reading a book right now (Cryptonomicon, in case you’re curious) that is chock full of big words! Successful authors use big words and no one yells at them for it!

Then something my first-piece-of-fan-mail-writer said caught my eye. To paraphrase, my writing is easy to read and hums right along until a big word drops out of nowhere and cracks the reader’s windshield.

If I take an honest look at my writing, I have to agree with the guy. My writing style was born on my blog. If the big words I use on occasion are distracting and annoying to my readers, then it’s safe to say my writing isn’t an appropriate place to let my fun words loose.

This does give me an excuse to ponder the relevance of the juicy words that are big on nuance and short on fans. Do you think they’ll get phased out and become obsolete someday? If no one’s learning them anymore and fewer and fewer people are using them, how long do you think it’ll take before words like “atavistic” and “pusillanimous” are, for all intents and purposes, extinct? Gone the way of thee’s and thou’s, and used only when irony or a bit of cheap authenticity are called for.

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Bootstrappin’

Ok that’s quite enough of all that whining, thankssomuch.

Today is a much better day. I ate a bowl of Life cereal just because, I tried the Stairclimber at the gym for the first time, and Aidan just learned where his belly is and will show you with great gusto, which I find endlessly adorable. Life is better.

Once I got over the initial shock of learning that the Internet is full of people who have strong opinions and little patience for tact, life got easier. You guys have spoiled me! My Internet (and real life) friends are so sweet to me, I guess I’d forgotten that not everyone is as kind.

No matter, though, because today is a new day. This is not the first time I’ve had to pull myself up by my bootstraps, and it won’t be the last. It takes awhile to grow a thicker skin, but I figure if I can beat depression I can handle this too.

As for my future as a writer? I’ll just keep on writing, obviously. I’ll keep learning where and when I can, writing as much as possible, and with any luck my books will just keep getting better and better.

Theme song of the day? Kashmir by Led Zeppelin.

Also? The book trailer for PWNED is out! Wanna take a peek? (Please be kind, my budget for this trailer was approximately $0)

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Cribbing From Mr. Palahniuk

As a member of the Pacific Northwest Writers Association (don’t get excited, it doesn’t mean I’m awesome. All it means is that I had enough spare change to cobble together the membership dues) I get to attend a seminar once per month. The seminars vary in topic. Sometimes they cover the mechanics of good writing  and at other times they instruct you in the mechanics of being a writer.

Last night’s seminar was on conflict. Conflict, drama, and why you need these things (in this way, Jennifer Lancaster is correct in her assertion that the Real Housewives can be educational). As I sat there, I couldn’t help but feel the way I always do at these things: Absolutely certain in my conviction that I still have so much to learn about writing.

There are tired old writing cliches that I still haven’t even heard yet. Sometimes people edit my writing and tell me I’m doing stuff like “comma splices” and then I have to look up what those are so I know whether or not I should be doing them.

This is a good thing. It’s a good thing to have room to learn and grow. If I am the best I’m ever going to be at age 26, that doesn’t give me much to look forward to for the next sixty years, does it?

Of course, I can’t help but think about how this applies to my imminently-published-book. When I first announced that PWNED was coming out, a friend of mine, in the interest of being a good friend, asked me if it was ready. If it was the best it could possibly be.

At the time I answered yes, because I thought (and still think) that it’s a great story. Now, though, I’m inclined to think it’s not the best it could possibly be.

The reason being that I’m not as good at writing as I will ever be. I could keep every book I write cloistered on my computer for decades, and just work through them with a fine-toothed comb every time I learn a new technique. I could spend my entire life re-writing and revising them, convinced they’re not ready because of my fear of what I don’t know.

I’m not interested in doing that.

This is me fully admitting that I’m a writing noob. PWNED is not the Great American Novel, and I fully admit to having room to learn and grow.

What I also fully admit to is loving the story, the characters, and the plot. I had so much fun writing this book, and it shows. I’m steeling myself for the inevitable bad reviews on the horizon (because trolls are everywhere and I’d be foolish to think they’ll ignore me) but I’m also just really excited to share the story with whoever is interested in reading it.

Life is a dish best served with panache, and in the immortal words of Chuck Palahniuk, “I don’t want to die without any scars.” You’d be surprised by how many of my life’s idioms I crib from Mr. Palahniuk.

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Author Torture

It turns out this whole “getting published thing” is a lot of fun. And work. But also fun. There’s really nothing quite as motivating as a scary deadline (Pwned comes out June 20!), and I’ve gotten an astonishing amount of editing and revision done in the last week.

As for my favorite thing so far? It’s a toss-up. Cover design is a lot of fun. I don’t have graphic design skills, so I’ve had the pleasure of working with several graphic design students who have blown me away so far.

Seriously, it’s incredible to watch these people work. How their brains can take a concept and turn it into a cover that makes your heart beat faster because it’s so cool looking. And what’s even cooler is they’ve all done something different with the design. I’ve told them all the same thing about the book, and they’ve all come up with different cover design ideas.

I’m going to need help picking a cover, and that’s where you folks come in. As soon as all the drafts are done, I’ll post the final versions here with a poll. Y’all can eyeball the cover designs and tell me which one you think takes the cake.

Speaking of cake…

This weekend, one of my friends is taking my official author photo for me and I’m excited, nervous, excited, terrified, and excited (making me want to eat cake, because I enjoy eating my feelings). I don’t mind having my photo taken as a rule, I’m just nervous because I don’t know how to “act.” You know, like an author.

Author photos vary so widely. Some are grave, others are happy, some are awkward, and still more are posed. I don’t know poses!

How do I look relaxed?! What if my smile looks all weird and stiff and people looking at the photo think I look crazy and then don’t buy the book?!

Speaking of that, why is it even necessary to put a photo of the author in the book in the first place? Is this some kind of bizarre torture for writers? We write. We sit behind computers and tells stories. If we wanted people looking at our faces, we’d be in a different business.

What this post basically boils down to is the following: Cover art contest coming soon, you guys are the judges. Author photo coming soon, gulp.

We should all brace ourselves.

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