More Nice Things On The Internet

Inspired by my grandmother, who at Christmas lamented the lack of “Nice things on the Internet,” I have decided to share something nice that happened to me the other day.

Being the glutton for punishment I am, I decided to leave the house three days before Christmas and head to Costco for some last-minute necessities. The kids were tired, the weather was dreadful (tons of rain blown sideways by a freezing wind), and the parking lot was crammed full of people willing to mow over grandmothers and babies alike in their quest for a good spot close to the door.

I spotted someone backing up out of a primo spot near the door and zoomed over to it with my blinker on, only to arrive at the exact same moment as someone else who came at the spot from the other direction.

The spot empty, the other guy and I inched forward, both of us clearly wanting that spot. Finally, I pantomimed begging and holding a baby, as if to say, “Please, sir. I have a baby!” and he smiled and conceded the spot to me.

If I could have found that guy and hugged him, I would have. Maybe twice.

Then, once inside, I was having trouble getting Aidan into the cart with Lily strapped to my chest in the Baby Bjorn. A nice lady swooped in and picked Aidan up for me. She said to me with a smile, “I have two of my own.”

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is just a little dash of more nice things on the Internet. Because my grandmother asked for it.

A Little Something to Help You on Your Way

There. Now we can have a weekend.

(I know I haven’t done Things That Do Not Suck Thursdays in ages and ages, but I categorized this as such because, well, this really does not suck. And if you ever feel hesitant about asking for what you want in life, think about this guy. I promise that whatever you’re up against is nowhere near as scary as a hungry Great White Shark.)

(Also? I found this image here. Go there if you want to see lots and lots of funny pottymouth things.)

 

TTDNST: Icebergs

I feel kind of bad.  It’s been about two weeks since I wrote a Things That Do Not Suck Thursday post.  I know, blogger feature fail.  No use crying over absentminded bloggers, though, is there?  Let’s just move right along and pretend not to notice that little blip on the radar.  Kinda like when you’re swimming in a pool with little kids, and you swim through a warm spot and you know exactly who did it but there’s really no use pointing it out because all that will do is make the kid cry and that’s the last thing you need to be responsible for is some little kid crying.

So, I’ve been kinda into icebergs lately.  Can’t imagine why.  It’s not like I’ve been living in an inferno for the last week or anything.  Ahem.  Wes and I were watching the “Ice Worlds” episode of Planet Earth recently and I just couldn’t get over how pretty icebergs are.  This led me to believe that icebergs would be a swell thing to feature as my Thing That Does Not Suck.  Don’t worry though, I’ll pepper the pretty pictures with some fun trivia.

Do you feel cooler yet?

Do you feel cooler yet?

The process of iceberg formation is called carving, and when the icebergs fall apart it’s called calving.  No, they’re not turkeys or cows, so I have no idea why carving and calving were selected to describe the birth and death of icebergs.  Just go with it, yeah?

This iceberg is extra aerodynamic.

This iceberg is extra aerodynamic.

The air trapped in a fully formed iceberg could be as old as 3000 years old, which is pretty cool seeing as how that’s probably the purest air to be found anywhere nowadays.  The sound icebergs make when they melt is described as a fizzing sound.  This is caused by all the tiny little air bubbles escaping.  Incidentally, those air bubbles are also why icebergs are white.

Wouldn't you just love to sail through that arch?

Wouldn't you just love to sail through that arch?

There was a secret WWII plan, called Habbukuk, to manufacture icebergs to use as aircraft carriers.  I don’t think that one worked out, though.  Would’ve been cool though.

TTDNST: A Horrible Vintage

I’m going to skip the hoopla introduction I normally preface my Things That Do Not Suck Thursday posts with, because I already wrote a post today and have, in fact, written four other posts today.  I’m a content machine, but I appear to be running out of toner.  If that analogy holds up at all.

This week’s Thing dissolved me into unstoppable giggles, probably because the image is strange and vaguely unsettling and those appear to be the images I find most amusing.  It’s couched in a list of 15 creepy vintage ads, which you can find here.  All the ads are horrifying, there’s one Lysol ad in particular that made me shudder.

I just wonder, where was Don Draper when these ads were pitched?  Since when does a deranged baby make a good advertisement for root beer?  In what universe does sticking a woman’s head on a rug not make you Patrick Bateman?  To find out what in Sam Hill I’m talking about, you will, of course, want to check out the above linked blog post.

The image I selected for all of you is an advertisement for Pears’ Soap.  I can’t make the byline any funnier than Retro Comedy did, so I’ll just quote what they said,

“Pears’ Soap – now with such a soothing lather, you won’t notice that your baby has gotten into a horrible accident!”

Nothing like 3rd degree burns to make bathtime fun for the whole family!
Nothing like 3rd degree burns to make bathtime fun for the whole family!

Happy Friday, everyone!

TTDNST: Independence Day

Wow.  Just…wow.  This week really got away from me.  I feel kinda bad that I neglected to blog yesterday, but there was a mountain of laundry to fold and an exceedingly handsome husband to spend time with and somehow sitting down at the computer never even occured to me.

Contrary to popular belief, I do actually leave my computer on occasion.  Sometimes I go for walks.  Or read books.  Or cower in the kitchen because dear goodness I look at the computer all day and really don’t want to look at it anymore AHHH!

Today is one of the cowering days.  It’s the Thursday before a three-day weekend that’s supposedly going to be filled with epic sunshine, and all I want to do is laze around eating a delicious chicken caesar salad and stuffing my face with fresh, hot, pillowy popovers.

In case you’re wondering, yes.  That is what we’re having for dinner tonight.

But!  I can’t neglect my Things That Do Not Suck Thursday duties!  I am, however, going to be a lazy bum about it.  This week’s Thing That Does Not Suck is…The 4th of July!  Yes!  Hotdogs and cheeseburgers and chips and dip and sweet, heavenly overindulgence.

The runner-up contender for this week’s title is, of course, the three-day weekend.  It’s nothing but wins as far as I’m concerned, so stay alert, don’t lose any appendages to freak fireworks accidents, and have the time of your life.  I’ll catch you on the flip side of this glorious celebration of independence, pyrotechnics, and BBQ food.