Our daughter is here!

On Thursday afternoon, Wes and I welcomed our daughter Lillian into the world! It was a smooth delivery and Lily and I are now home and resting. She’s pretty comfortable in our arms most of the time, I am considerably less comfy recovering from surgery.

Still, we’re ecstatic and healthy and looking forward to spending many sleepless nights watching her sweet face. Posting may be light for awhile as my whole world revolves around recovering and keeping up with my kids, but all is well.

So well!!!

Way Too Much Excitement

Oh my gosh, last week. LAST WEEK. When I took my belly photo on Wednesday morning, I had absolutely no idea what kind of day I was going to have. I figured I’d go to my midwife appointment and then lunch with Wes’s parents and that would be that.

Well, I did go to my prenatal appointment, where my midwife revealed that she still STILL wasn’t confident that Little Girl was head down. Between her and my other midwife’s uncertainty, Wes and I decided to heed their recommendation and schedule an ultrasound for later that afternoon.

After lunch, I headed to my ultrasound certain it was a waste of time and money. Ha ha, the joke was on me!

Baby Girl most certainly WAS breech. Breech breech breech. I saw her perfect fingers covering her chubby cheeks, and her fat little toes kicking up near her face, and felt my entire world shift on its axis.

This changed everything. EVERYTHING! I knew it was probably too late for an external cephalic version (where a doctor attempts to flip the baby head-down by moving her through your belly) to be effective, but I scheduled one for the next morning anyway. I wanted to make sure I did everything I could to prevent a c-section if it was in any way preventable.

And then I cried. I made a dozen phone calls on the way home and cried my way through most of them.

The next morning, Wes and I headed to my ECV bright and early. It was our very first visit to the Labor & Delivery ward and we were in jolly spirits. We had no idea what we were in for.

The ECV was painful. Excruciating, really. Horrible, horrible pain that was ultimately pointless because Little Girl would not be budged. After two attempts to flip her around, we all agreed there was no point putting me through a third attempt.

We went home. I scheduled a c-section for the next week. I cried some more.

I’ve been in complete, perfect shock for almost a week now. In the last few days I’ve started grieving the loss of the opportunity to bring my daughter into the world the way I’d planned, but I’m also trying to stay positive and see the upside to the whole situation.

My emotions are a huge, bubbling wreck and I alternate between excited and terrified on an hourly basis. I take comfort in my friends and family’s assurances that I’ll bounce back from my c-section faster than I would have thought possible. I take comfort in knowing that my Little Girl is going to be coming into the world safely courtesy of skilled hands.

But most of all I take comfort in knowing my daughter will be born July 5, after which I’ll never ever be pregnant again. This pregnancy has been way too exciting for my taste and I can’t wait to get my body back for good.

T-minus three days until I get to meet my daughter. I can’t wait.

Whoa

I’m currently a little over 35 weeks pregnant and was feeling pretty smug about how organized I was until a whole bunch of stuff I’d loaned to other families all came back at once. Car seats, swings, baby bathtubs, an activity center, it all came back last night.

It was while I contemplated the massive heap of baby supplies in my front entryway that I just had to laugh. Egads, babies need a lot of stuff!

Sure, sure, you could make an efficient argument that babies don’t need that much stuff. I mean surely cavewomen raised babies just fine without a vibrating bouncy seat, swing, and rockable bassinet, yes?

Wes asked me whether I wanted to get rid of some of the stuff and the eternal neat freak that takes up most of my brain was tempted to say yes. I can’t stow everything away neatly in a closet, therefore it must go. I can’t have baby stuff cluttering up my pristine domicile!

But then I took a minute to remember Aidan’s infancy, and what it’s like to have a fussy baby, and I realized it would be sheer folly to get rid of anything at this point. Maybe I’d get rid of the vibrating bouncy chair (which Aidan never liked much) and that would prove to be the one thing on Earth Little Girl likes enough to sleep in.

Right there in that moment I resigned myself to the clutter. And in so doing, I broke through the denial that’s kept me company for the last few weeks. Looking at the baby swing in the corner of my kitchen, I feel myself coming to terms that I really will be doing the newborn rodeo again. The good, the bad, the gory, it’s all coming my way in less than five weeks.

Whoa.

An Explosion of Color!

When I found out my first child was a boy, there was never any question in my mind of what I wanted his nursery to be all about: Super Mario Bros. The colors, the friendly faces, the geeky goodness, it was everything I wanted for my son and more.

The funny thing is, I never had any idea how I would’ve decorated the nursery if we’d been expecting a girl instead. Two years passed by and I found myself expecting again and still had no idea how I’d want to decorate a girl’s nursery. If this baby had been a boy, he would’ve had an Angry Birds nursery, but alas, we’re having a girl.

So, to the Internets for me! I scoured Pinterest, Babies R Us, and Amazon for inspiration and never came up with a theme per se, but did discover two things about myself:

1. Pastels are not my cup of tea.

2. Color makes me happy!

With this aesthetic in mind, I shopped and consulted with Wes and shopped some more until I found the perfect decorations for Little Girl’s nursery. Behold!

It's like pink exploded in here, I love it :)

This room is aggressively colorful and makes me feel girly and happy and relaxed. Aidan loves it too, he gleefully calls it “Baby Sister’s Room” and enjoys hiding under the crib.

So that’s it, mischief managed! The only thing we have left to do is wait for her to finish growing and we’re all set to go for Baby Round 2.

Time Warp

As of today, I am thirty weeks pregnant. Three quarters of the way done being pregnant for the last time. Close enough to the finish line to hear the cheering but still too far away to see the banners flapping in the breeze.

Suddenly, everything seems to be moving at warp speed. Maybe I’m slowing down, or maybe life just really is rocketing along regardless of how I feel about it, but it all seems to be happening so fast.

It seems like we just potty trained Aidan, but then I look at the calendar and realize he’s been potty trained for a month. I keep thinking I have tons of midwife appointments to go until July, but then I realize it’s MAY and that means JUNE IS COMING and I don’t need my knuckles to tell me which month comes after that.

When I got pregnant, July 11 seemed forever away. It is simply amazing to me that it’s May already, because that means soon it’ll be Mother’s Day. And then it’ll be my birthday. And then it’ll be Memorial Day weekend. And then it’ll be June, which means I’ll be able to tell people I’m due next month.

And I really will be. Oh my gosh.