Hey y’all.  I’m working on a video for work that has to be done by Sunday or the whole fracking universe will implode and we’ll all be left crawling around without limbs and opposable thumbs which will necessitate us having to find other ways to open cans of soup and there will be problems.  I’ll catch you on the flip side for Things That Do Not Suck Thursday.  Which is tomorrow.  Which means this week is almost over.  Which means I’m taking another pregnancy test soon.

Please excuse me while I quell my stomach butterflies of excitement with copious amounts of work.

Oh goodness, I am having such a fun weekend.  I usually reserve my Sunday mornings for writing guest posts and working on my novel but I just had to pop in here and share what kinds of shenanigans I’ve been getting up to.

Friday night was awesome fun.  One of my co-workers has joined the Army and Friday was his last day so we sent him off with a party.  My month-long craving for margaritas was finally satisfied, and I won $200 by drinking more beer at once than I’ve ever drunk my whole life.  It sounds shady, but with $200 sitting on the table I couldn’t pass it up.

My bosses bet me $100 each that I couldn’t drink a full yard of beer (which is about 36 ounces) in four minutes.  Once the yard glass was filled I was certain they were right, but I figured that fortune favors the bold so I decided to give it a shot.  Sure, I never drink beer and sure, I’ve never tried to chug anything before but you only live once right?

I finished the darn thing in 2 minutes 16 seconds.  My bosses were flabbergasted and impressed, and I now have $200 to go clothes shopping with.  I am so. excited.  Sure, it was probably a very silly and unclassy thing to do, but I managed not to belch in front of anyone (I know, I’m probably a freak) and it was easy money.  FTW!

Saturday dawned sunny and warm and I had a strange surplus of energy so I cleaned the house like a fiend.  This place is sparkly clean, and Wes didn’t even have to help me because he was enjoying himself at the Worldview Apologetics Conference.  It felt great to clean the house and give him a weekend off from vacuuming and sweeping (which are normally his jobs).  My back is paying for the cleaning spurt though.

I’m looking forward to spending the rest of this pretty Sunday relaxing on the couch and hanging out with Wes.  I would really like to go shopping for clothes immediately, but I think I’ll wait until after my birthday next month.  Then I can go shopping and it’ll be like my birthday present to myself.

It’s a bit weird to think about going shopping right now, because I have no way of knowing whether I’ll be pregnant next month, or in two months.  I suppose the best way to ensure that I’ll be pregnant soon is to buy a whole bunch of clothes that won’t fit when I get pregnant.  I guess I’d better get shopping then, huh?

I walked face-first into a very lovely surprise this morning: The DIY wedding favor project I worked on for my job was featured on what could arguably considered the biggest blog in the wedding industry!

I bet you didn't know I could be so crafty!

 I came up with the idea and the awesome graphic designer brought it to life!  We took approximately 3,018 pictures, assembled and re-assembled the favors, and generally had a fun time taking pictures and making arts and crafts.  We even staged a fake wedding reception:

Look at all the pretty!

We celebrated this huge accomplishment with bagels, naturally.

An interesting side-effect of not having cable television (besides not having to pay for it every month) is that we’re perpetually a day behind everyone else in terms of our familiarity with breaking news, and we’re reliably a full year behind everyone else on popular shows.

When everyone was freaking out about The Hatch (on Lost, if you’re a newb) we had just started the show and were trying to figure out what in the blue blazes was up with the scary smoke monster.  When co-workers were laughing about “Support the Rabid” (on The Office), Wes and I were tensely wondering if Jim was going to stay with the other branch.

It’s strange living your life like this, continually out of touch and behind the times, but also nice as well.  It’s easier to disappear.  If I’m stressed because economic news is getting me down, I don’t have to worry about seeing a commercial touting the Latest Scary Headlines at 8!  If Wes and I feel like disappearing for a weekend, all we have to do is stay away from our computers and then it’s just us and the puppy.

This is turning into a lengthier intro than I was anticipating but oh well.  Onto the point!  I was talking to my good friend yesterday and she was filling me in on the gruesome chimp attack that happened awhile ago.  I hadn’t heard anything about it and she was giving me the terrible details.

When she was done, she said something interesting and I’ve been pondering it since.  She said that, if it had been her in the attack, she would have been angry at the doctors for resuscitating her.  In my friend’s opinion, life wouldn’t be worth living with a terribly disfigured face.

This ties in with the whole isolated-from-civilization thing by virtue of me having space to think about this issue without being pummeled with new information every few seconds.  I heard the succinct details from my friend and now I’m digesting those details.

I’m genuinely trying to figure out whether life would be worth living if my face looked like ground beef.  Of course I’d like to say I’d be willing to go on after such a horrible thing, but I’m not going to pretend that the prospect of spending a lifetime with those injuries wouldn’t be a bleak consideration, either. 

Still, even though I wouldn’t look forward to all the stares and disfigurement, I would rather be alive and kicking than dead.  So I guess that’s the choice made.  It’s still a tragic situation, though.

What I’m puzzling over is what this issue is.  Is this an issue of values?  Whether you value your life or your looks?  Or is this more a question of where your priorities are and how you view yourself?  As a blogger, I could look like a centaur and none of you would ever be the wiser.  If I were a sales person or a PR rep, would I make a different choice?

It’s a tough issue, and one I’m glad I don’t have to make.  This whole incident will make me think fiercely before taking my kids to the ape house at the zoo.  Of that you can be sure.  On the plus side, I have no doubt that if a chimp tried to attack my kid, the chimp would be the one who ended up without a face.

Just in case you were wondering where our staircase is…
I have helpfully outlined it for you in HOLIDAY CHEER!

Perhaps you are confused as to why I am so unshakably excited about the presence of holiday lights in my home. Allow me to elaborate: This is the first time Wes and I have decorated our house to celebrate the holiday season.

I know, it’s shameful, really. Nearly three years of marriage and nary a single Christmas decoration, we must be Scrooges, right? Wrong! We’re frugal, which means we have simply been waiting for someone to get tired of their Christmas decorations so we could helpfully volunteer to give them a new home.

One of the ladies at work is converting to LED Christmas lights and so is clearing her house and garage of her old-fashioned ones. Wes and I gladly took three strings of lights off her hands and this is what we’ve chosen to do with them.

It’s frightfully cheery, no? I’m not exactly a whiz at decorating things (this is why I have such a great mother-in-law and sister-in-law) but I’m pretty sure this looks nice. Wes certainly seemed to think so and, as he’s the only one who lives here and reads this blog, I’d say that’s good enough.

We haven’t let Doc in yet to inspect our handiwork, though. I’m assuming his initial reaction will be to try to eat them and, when he learns that this is not allowed, he’ll react by steadfastly ignoring them until he thinks we aren’t watching, and then he’ll attempt to play with them.

We still haven’t worked up the nerve to get a Christmas tree yet. We’re not huge on gift-giving, so it seems a bit silly to get a nicely dressed-up tree in order to put absolutely nothing under it. When we have kids we’ll definitely rock the indoor foliage but for now we’re content with our lights.

With a staircase this pretty, wouldn’t you be?