Wow, I feel like today grabbed my by the ears, spun me around so fast my feet left the ground, and then let me loose so I could fly unhindered into a tree.  I’m fine, meaning I’m not horribly injured physically or anything, but I feel like I’m pulling little twigs and baby birds out of my hair while wondering what in the heck just happened to me.

Today was my second day back to work after an epic two weeks off, and so far both days have thoroughly kicked my behind.  My poor brain, which has been used to a daily nap right around mid-afternoon, keeps politely tugging on my sleeve and inquiring when we’ll get to rest while I struggle to make sense on the phone and keep my hair from catching fire.

Not helping matters is my sudden fondness for insomnia between the dastardly hours of 2 AM and 4 AM.  I was awake during those hours this very morning because my freaking feet were too hot.  I mean, is that not the lamest freaking excuse ever for not being able to sleep?

I kid you not, the alarm clock felt like nothing so much as a sledgehammer right to my face this morning.

This made work an interesting proposition today.  I have been officially relieved of my additional duties as my colleague is now back from her maternity leave, and I was a little worried that this meant I wouldn’t have enough to do.

This is where the universe laughs at my expense.

It turns out that all my responsibilities that I hadn’t quite had time to get to because I was doing another person’s job didn’t disappear.  They were quietly biding their time in the corner and they all jumped me en masse today.  I have to admit, I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Wes has also been really busy.  He’s gotten numerous calls from recruiters, all of whom have jobs they assure him he’s perfect for.  He’s had three phone interviews and one actual interview, and he is one hot little tamale as he balances out phone calls, sending out his resume for new jobs, interviews, and skills assessments.

It’s so encouraging to know that his skills and talents make him hireable.  We have no idea which, if any, of these job opportunities will pan out but it puts him back in action and I think he’s enjoying the heck out of it.

If I were way lame I’d totally stick a sports analogy in right there.  Something about benches and getting back in the game.  Because I’m lame in an entirely different way, I’ll just say that it’s good to see him so flustered and busy.  He’s worked really hard to get to this point.

Hey there, would you look at that?  The year is almost over!  Like, tomorrow is the last day of 2009!  A whole decade, which for me was characterized by growing up from teen to young adult, is a hairsbreadth from being kaput.

As I stare down January, in all its fresh start, resolution-ridden, cold weather profuse glory, I can’t help but feel a bit apprehensive.  January means a little something more for us this year.  It means we have two months (maybe less) to get a lot of stuff figured out before everything we know changes.

I…well, it’s very safe to say I dislike change.  I don’t like switching jobs, I keep an extremely clean house because I don’t like it when things move, and if a plan changes I get upset if I don’t have time to process it first.  It’s borderline autistic, but it’s how I get things done.

As January begins with February hot on its heels, I’m feeling ever so slightly out of my league.  I know my life right now.  I’m a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and an employee.  I’d like to think I’m pretty darn good at these roles.  I have no idea how I’m going to be as a mother.

I’m fairly certain that becoming a mother won’t change much how I behave as a daughter, a sister, or a friend, but it’s sure as heck going to change my role as a wife and employee.  These two roles are the most pervasive in my day to day life, and the upcoming shift has me feeling a little unprepared.

I make no secret of the fact that I love my job.  I love what I do, I adore the people I work with, it’s all around just very good sauce.  They’ve been patient with me in establishing my plan for when the baby is here, which is good since I’ve tried very hard to not think about what I’m going to do once Squishy is here.

I mean, it’s just so difficult to imagine what life is going to be like once this little baby is out and about.  I can easily imagine working.  I know all about that.  I have no idea about motherhood.

I’m sure there are some people who slip into motherhood like it’s a warm bath they’ve been looking forward to all day.  I hope I’m one of them.  I just feel like I’ve never seen a bath before and have no idea how deep it is because of all the bubbles.  And rubber duckies.  And I don’t know how to swim.  And did I mention the bubbles?

Obviously this baby is going to come whether I’m ready or not, and I’ll jump in with both feet because that’s how I roll.  But for now, in this deep breath before the plunge (a.k.a. the last eight weeks of pregnancy) I feel like it’s the first day of kindergarten and I’m not quite sure how to behave on the playground just yet.

So there you go.  How do I feel about my impending motherhood?  Bubble baths and playgrounds.  That just about sums it up.

Would you like to know how I spent my afternoon?  I spent a good portion of it lying on the couch, alternating between sleeping and resting with my eyes closed.  The rest of it was spent puttering around the house doing various and sundry projects.

Seriously though, that nap was magical.  Almost as good as the nap I took yesterday afternoon.

Why, you ask, do I have the luxury of napping my afternoons away?  Because my job is awesome.  My company gives everyone the last two weeks of the year off, and the best part is that it’s paid time off.  How could you not love a company who pays you to nap all afternoon?

I remember this time last year with fondness, though I think this break will be far better.  Last year I got stir-crazy less than a week into the vacation time and was chomping at the bit to return to work by the time January rolled around.

This year finds me blissed out on baby hormones and really savoring the ability to shut my eyes whenever and wherever my body deems it necessary.  Which is often.  And everywhere.

I do have projects planned for the time off, however, just to keep things interesting.  For example, I’m planning to start calling and scheduling interviews with pediatricians tomorrow.  I hear this is kind of important to get squared away before the baby gets here, so I might as well schedule the interviews for next week when I know I’ll have time.

I am also in the process of deep-cleaning the house to help me cope with Doc being gone.  I did this with my Dad’s house after he passed away and it drove my brother crazy, but this is how I cope.  I clean things.  I organize.  I restore order to the outside world so I can deal with the chaos of my emotions.

It’s probably strange, but it works for me.

While I putter and sleep, Wes continues to study.  He missed passing his huge exam by one measly question on Saturday, and is scheduled to re-take it tomorrow morning.  Where others might be intimidated or discouraged by not passing, Wes is determined.  I have a feeling this test will be destroyed tomorrow by the time he’s done with it.

I told Wes that the first test attempt was really just a reconnaissance mission, to scope out the enemy’s weaknesses.  Now that he knows the lay of the land, he’s going to crush that test and I, for one, can’t wait to see him do it.