Dead-Pan and Loving It

My husband did a very brave thing yesterday: he went to the mall on my behalf. To obtain cookware. You see, we purchased Calphalon non-stick pans when we got married and have loved them vehemently since their maiden meal.

The problem is that some of the often-used ones have started chipping. As I’m averse to having specks of metal in my food, we investigated what we’d have to do to return our pans. Calphalon has a lifetime warranty so yay! New pans! No problems, right?

Wrong. Calphalon has a lifetime guarantee, but in order to exchange your pans for new ones, you have to pay to ship them to Calphalon headquarters, wait for them to process your return, and then wait while they ship you new pans. This can take up to a month.

I asked them what I was supposed to do about the fact that the shipping costs alone would be almost as much as buying a whole new set of pans, and what exactly was I supposed to do without cookware for a month? The woman with whom I conversed over at Calphalon had no response to this, so I resigned myself to a future of chipped pans and questionable food.

Little did I know that Macy’s was to the rescue! They offered to deal with Calphalon for me and swap out my old set for a new one. Yays all around, yes?

This is where the story gets tricky. Wes went to the store and ended up being assaulted by information to which he had previously not been privy. He made an educated decision and bought a hard-anodized set of Circulon pans.

Not knowing that Circulon and I have history. Not knowing that I despise solid metal lids for pots and pans (I’m much more of a glass lid kind of girl.) Not knowing that you oughtn’t to ever buy cookware that your wife hasn’t personally vetted beforehand.

We unpacked the set last night, washed everything, and I gave it a trial run with dinner. In the interest of being a good sport, I genuinely tried to like it. There are, however, a number of factors working against this set:

  • It has an extremely thick bottom that is supposedly good for heating things evenly. This makes the pan very heavy and tipsy, so that when a dame such as myself attempts to empty a pot full of boiled noodles into a colander the pot tips precariously and causes her to lose control of her noodles. Not that this happened or anything. Except it did.
  • This thick bottom also heats extremely slowly. I have never had to spend half an hour getting a pot of water to boil in my life. Good heavens, think of the gas bills in a world where pots of water take their sweet time to reach boiling! Won’t someone please think of the noodles?!
  • The lid handle came completely off of one of the small saucepans. How can I trust that the handles won’t come plumb off the other pans and drench me in boiling liquids?
  • The handles of this set are thick. My dainty girl hands have a lot of trouble lifting up and maneuvering these pans because they’re large and unwieldy.
  • Metal lids. For some reason, I cannot stand metal lids. They smell like metal when you wash them, you can’t see what your food is doing, and I don’t like them.

So, Wes and I are going to return these troublesome pots and pans in favor of my trusty Calphalon Contemporary non-stick pans. They may chip after a few years, but as long as Macy’s will exchange them with Calphalon for me I see no reason not to stick with a line of pans I love. Especially seeing as how I’m so very picky.

I never thought I’d have strong opinions on cookware but here we are. Do you have surprisingly vehement opinions on things?

4 thoughts on “Dead-Pan and Loving It

  1. I share your opinions about cookware. I love my Calphalon saucepan, and really wish I could complete the set (which I think might be my Christmas present from a certain husband). I do however like thick sturdy handles because I don’t like to feel like I’m going to break it off.

  2. -Del, but what do you do when the thick sturdy handles break off? I guess use them as thick, sturdy, juggling batons? I hope you do get your set, if I talk to your husband between now and then I’ll drop a hint or two :)

  3. We (I) went with Circulon on the registry when we got married – it is non-stick and light (easy for my girly arms to lift), and had metal lids (at the time – now glass) which I prefer. I’m always afraid I’ll drop one of the glass lids and it will break and then I’d be out a lid for my pan. I’m not a big fan of pots that you can’t really lift easily – even when empty, and Circulon at the time was only available in “heavy”.

    Any suggestions for a good 12-14″ skillet? I need to replace mine as the non-stick coating is coming off, but I can’t find one I like as well (shape, base, handle…).

  4. -Mrs. Higrens, I’m still a really big fan of Calphalon. The set I got, the Contemporary non-stick line, is perfect except for the chipping problem. Calphalon has a better line, called the One line, and those pans are similar to the Contemporary line but are hard-anodized so they won’t chip and they’re suppoesdly more non-stick than a duck’s back. I like the Calphalon’s sturdy yet skinny handles because they’re very easy to hold/maneuver. That’d probably be my best advice :)

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