Erika is a Hypocrite

webcamspai_550Okay, absolute hypocrite time: There’s a guy next to me at Starbucks right now who’s done nothing on his computer but browse guns and ammunition since he sat down. And he’s making me nervous.

Isn’t that just the height of irony? I mean, come on. A week ago, I was sitting right here researching grenade launchers. This guy’s shopping for deals on a handgun and suddenly I’m Miss Prude, who only browses Pinterest and wears sweater sets while she’s at Starbucks.

Still, I know I’m not a psycho. I have no such reassurances about the hairy, bearded dude next to me with the Russian accent and lumberjack shirt.

It’s probably a good thing I sit in a corner and no one can really see what I’m looking at, isn’t it? Can you imagine how sketchy I’d look? The people around me would be thinking, Oh, sure, she drove here in a minivan, but she’s researching artillery and MTA subway lines! Shouldn’t someone call the authorities? Why isn’t she on some NSA watch list?!

You know, come to think of it, I probably am on a watch list somewhere. I bet the people who check in on me once in awhile are pretty bored with the rest of my Internet activities. I’m on Facebook a lot, and other than that, I’m on Reddit looking at funny memes. Pret-ty boring.

[I feel like I should state for the record that I am a nice lady who stays home with her kids and writes thriller novels for fun. I research sketchy things purely for the sake of my writing. Please don’t arrest me.]

2 thoughts on “Erika is a Hypocrite

  1. Hairy & bearded & the shirt are all okay, it’s the accent which would make me concerned! Congrats on today’s word count!!!

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