My Pernicious Pet Peeves

Oh yay!  I’m excited, because the lovely ladies over at Girl Talk Thursday have another fun topic this week and I’m going to follow in Diane‘s fine footsteps and add my own list to the lists of so many others.  I did this once before, and had a blast, so I thought, “Hey, why not?”

Besides, it’s not as though my blog is drowning in new content this week (I wonder if slacker bloggers are on anyone’s pet peeves list…)

Ok!  So, my pet peeves…

People who misuse words that sound similar but really aren’t. For example, someone who uses eminent when they meant imminent.  Affect vs. effect, illicit vs. elicit, insure vs. ensure, you get the idea.  This bothers me most in writing.  When spoken, sometimes I can give someone the benefit of the doubt owing to speech patterns and the general unwieldiness of the human tongue, but in writing?  There’s no excuse.

Bad table manners. I don’t want to see you chewing away with your mouth open, hear you slurp your soup out of your spoon, or watch as your napkin sits unused by the side of your plate while food speckles the corners of your mouth and the top of your lap.  Sure, not everyone knows how to drink wine properly, and very few people know how to eat an artichoke at a fancy restaurant, but criminy.  How difficult is it to not behave at a restaurant like you’re eating a Hungryman dinner in your underwear while watching reality TV?

People who choose squiggly fonts in bright colors for their work emails. Unless you are the director of admissions for clown college, this kind of thing is not cute.  Or endearing.  It’s unprofessional, and it makes me want to delete your email without even reading it.  How am I supposed to take a requisition request seriously when it looks like a kindergartner scribed it with a crayon?

Calorie counts at restaurants. Actually, let’s just include most instances of the government trying to “help” me.  I don’t want your help.  I don’t need to know that my scone has 700 calories, I don’t want to pay higher taxes so you can “help” me get health insurance I’m able to procure on my own thanks so much.  If you want to help me, leave me alone.  I’m a big girl, I can decide whether my hips are capable of adding a scone here and there, and I can get health insurance on my own.  Seriously government, do us all a favor: Stop “helping” the economy with stimulus packages and just leave us alone.  Your spending is helping all right.  Helping us all into an early grave.

Weed smokers at concerts. You’re standing there at a concert, super excited and waiting for the band to start playing, when the smell hits your nose: Weed.  Foul, stinky, weed.  Thanks to some jack-hole who can’t enjoy live music without being high as a kite, you’re forced (literally, you can’t escape thanks to the press of bodies all around you) to partake in an illegal substance against your will.  I don’t think weed is evil.  I don’t think it’ll ruin your whole life.  What I do think is that it’s inconsiderate to remove my ability to choose what goes into my body.

People who leave public bathrooms in complete disarray. I was at Babies R Us this weekend and the bathroom was so unspeakably foul I was actually angry that I had to use it so often.  How is it ok to leave toilet paper all over the floor, or bodily fluids dripping off the toilet?  Where is the decency, man?

That’s all I can come up with for now.  How about you?  Any pet peeves you want to get off your chest?

21 thoughts on “My Pernicious Pet Peeves

  1. 1. Chord (ie: music, geometry, sympathy with) vs. cord (string, rope, etc.)

    I noticed this one particularly after Flight of the Conchords became so big.

    3. Or white print on a black background when the font isn’t big enough.

    But that could because I’m getting older and my vision is crap.

    Related: typos in fliers – I saw one today for a wine dinner. At $85 a head you think it could be cost vs. cots. Though, maybe part of that $85 goes towards a communal room?

  2. YEEEEESSSS on the first one!

    Though I do get a bit of satisfaction out of it when someone who routinely acts as though they are smarter than I am misuses a word.

  3. -Blanche, Ha! Yes, I think Flight of the Conchords meant it to be silly and clever, but people made the mistake of assuming they were starting a spelling revolution. I also get annoyed by typos in fliers, if you’re going to go to the trouble of printing a flier, why not just proofread it first?

    -jules, Oh yes definitely! There’s a lot of satisfaction to be had when someone thinks they’re super awesome but doesn’t know that they aren’t :)

  4. -Becky Mochaface, It’s SO comforting to know I’m not the only one whose particular sensibilities get them all riled up when words are mis-spelled!

  5. It doesn’t even have to be a squiggly font. Comic Sans is NOT PROFESSIONAL. Also, STOP USING IT ON YOUR COMPANY WEB SITE. Looks like it was designed by monkeys. And not even the smart monkeys. The poo-flinging monkeys.

  6. -Diane, *cackle cackle* Sorry, I can’t not giggle when I hear “Poo-flinging”. I agree with your assessment of Comic Sans, and would posit that Papyrus is also overused. It is not not nearly as serene as every spa and massage place seems to think it is.

  7. “Unless you are the director of admissions for clown college, this kind of thing is not cute.”

    That one made me snort-laugh. So freaking true – way to look professional, jackhole.

  8. -Maria, Thank you! Common courtesy seems to be increasingly uncommon, unfortunately…

    -Chibi Jeebs, Thank you, so glad you enjoyed!

  9. I am totally with you on the work email thing. Actually, most of the ways people use email casually annoy me… chain letters, stupid forwards, etc >:[

  10. -Tatiana, I love the little frowny face!! I agree times infinity about the chain letters and forwards. I don’t care if angels tap dance every time I forward the email, get it gone!

  11. re: this “People who misuse words that sound similar but really aren’t” I’d like to add people who make up words that they think sound intelligent like irregardless, or mispronounce words like happen-chance instead of happenstance. Pretentious, I know. But God, it irks me.

  12. I agree with you about pot-smoking at concerts. I don’t have anything against those who do choose to smoke it at home, but I personally have never had the inclination to do it myself, and when people bring it to a public venue and force it on the people around them like that, it makes me really, really mad.

  13. -Kami, Oooh, irregardless is a hilarious word. Sounds fancy, but is in reality about as fancy as a rhinestone-speckled pair of socks.

    -Teija, Seriously! I’m far from convinced that marijuana will end civilization as we know it, but that doesn’t mean I want a contact high.

  14. I’m not a fan of the font abuse either. Some of them are so ornate you can barely read them…which is completely unprofessional.

  15. -Claudia, Seriously! It’s not like these are hand-scribed missives from English nobles. More likely, they’re banal lunch meeting reminders that in no necessitate that kind of frouf.

  16. Those ridiculous emails with tons of different colored fonts and sizes drive me bonkers, even if they’re informal. We aren’t 5 years old!

    And the pot thing…yes, yes and yes. I was at a Barenaked Ladies concert and someone was smoking some nearby. I was FURIOUS. I mean come ON…the Barenaked Ladies? And they can’t go 3 whole hours without it? I hate the smell.

  17. -Winsome Lily, Seriously! And the colors are distracting, I can’t ever focus when I’m reading them! As for the pot thing…At a Barenaked ladies concert? Really? Bob Marley, I totally get it. But the Ladies…?

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