This is Where a Grave-Faced Face Slapper Would Come in Handy

I’m working with a printer to do the layout for my book, and I’m having the hardest time just saying yes to proofs. They look great, and I couldn’t be more excited to see my book in print, but it’s really freaking hard to tell them to go ahead and print the darn things.

Because then they’ll be set in stone done. As in finished. As in, I can’t muck around with them any more. Paul Valery once said, “A poem is never finished, only abandoned.” The same can be said of novels!

I think I’ll well and truly be done with revisions after this round, though. Honestly, it’s not like I have a problem or something. I can stop revising whenever I want to….

Just let me fix one more comma splice! Just one more! Don’t cut me off, man, these revisions are all I have left!

This is where it would be helpful to have a grave-faced man spring from the pantry to slap me across the face and tell me, “Get yourself together, woman!”

In other news, now that Aidan is almost 18 months old there’s been an uptick in interest in the contents of my womb. Or, rather, the prospect of womb contents. Womb is a weird word.

This could be because I’m not shy about saying that Wes and I will start trying for Future Baby starting next month (egads!). Or it could be because 18 months is one of those milestones where your baby isn’t really a baby any more so why not make another one?

Either way, five people have asked me about Future Baby’s timeline in the last week. Even I have to admit, I’m getting excited too. My brain knows how all-consuming and exhausting babies are, but my hormones have hijacked the joint so I guess I’ll come back to my senses in about a year and a half. I look forward to seeing you then.

Not even the grave-faced face slapper can help me now.

Between now and when a tiny fetus takes over my whole world, I plan to a) go on vacation, b) release a fun short story I just wrote, c) attend a writer’s conference, and d) write my third novel during the month of September.

September should be a fun month. I’m doing my own little NaNoWriMo during September because I have no guarantees I won’t be in mt first trimester come November and there’s no way I’m doing NaNoWriMo during my first trimester.

I guess what I’m saying is that I hope to have a brand new manuscript and a brand new fetus by the end of the year. Plus a printed version of my book. Not for the fetus though. For me. And maybe for you too if I can just bring myself to approve the fracking proof already!

Grave-faced face slapper? Do your worst.

2 thoughts on “This is Where a Grave-Faced Face Slapper Would Come in Handy

  1. Publish already!!!!!11!!!11 Jeez. Way to keep your non-tree loving wannabe readers hanging. :)

    As for the other stuff, good luck!

  2. -Blanche, I know, I’m being a huge pain! I think this next proof will be The One, and then I’ll approve the proof and we’ll be in business. I think. I hope. Gulp.

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