My boss came up to me today and said, “Right now, what would you do with $30,000?” I have to admit, my heart dropped down into my stomach for a second because I thought he was really offering me that much, but then I realized that was silly and said the first thing that came to mind: Student loans. I told him that if someone gave me $30K right now I would use all of it to knock out 75% of my student loan debt.
The other answers from around the office were much more interesting. Some people said they’d travel to Europe for a month, others said they’d buy something fun like a boat or a scooter, and someone said they’d probably get a boob job (Hey, to each their own. I did tell her that if she got a boob job I’d be obligated to call her “Sandbags,” though, which didn’t seem to bother her. In fact, she laughed uproariously. Ah, to work in such an office!)
I then jokingly asked my boss if he’d pay me $30K to make him cheesecake every week for a year. He said no, but then countered by saying he’d pay me $30K to make him dinner every night, do his laundry twice per week, and make him cheesecake.
I thought about it for a second and realized that he’d essentially be paying me to be his maid. And then the truly horrifying realization set in…That’s exactly what I do for Wes.
I cook him dinner every night, I do his laundry twice per week, and I bake a dessert from scratch every weekend. Good heavens, I’m nothing more than a maid with a wedding ring! Wow, he got a really good bargain if you think about it because not only do I do these things, I also bring home a paycheck every week. Such a deal!
Of course, the same can be said of Wes. By this same logic, he’s nothing more than a plumber/exterminator/manual laborer/handiman with a wedding ring. Gee kids, isn’t being an adult so glamorous?
That being said, I declined my boss’s offer (because really, I already have a husband!) and fought down the bitter disappointment of knowing that it’s extremely unlikely that anyone will ever spontaneously offer me a magic solution to my student loan debt and I’m just going to have to handle it the old-fashioned way: By eating Mac n’ Cheese every night and complaining like mad.
Assuming someone has a huge wad of cash just burning a hole in their pocket and wants to give it to you, what would you do with $30,000?