How Often Do You See Cocaine, Amphetamines, and Ducklings in the Same Place?

When I first started blogging I was a total newbie. I had just enough common sense to figure out how to publish posts and that was about it. The longer I blogged, however, the more I came to realize that there are kinds of neat accessories you can add to your blog! So, I immediately procured for myself a feed using Feedburner, a registration with Technorati, and an RSS feed with Qvisory (all of which are viewable in the right-hand column.)

One neat little toy you may not have known about, however, is Google Analytics (AKA the best thing ever.) It’s a line of HTML code that you install on your blog that allows you to collect information about the traffic on your blog (e.g. how many people come to the site every day, how long they stay, etc.)

I was looking through my site’s statistics last night and burst out laughing. One of the pieces of information that Analytics reports back on is how people find your site. A lot of my visitors come here by accident from search engines (welcome!) and usually the things they’re searching for have absolutely nothing to do with my blog. They do, however, wash up on the shores of my blog from time.

What makes them fun, however, is to see the search terms they’ve entered in order to find me. These terms reflect as much about me as they do them, so it is with great mirth and joy that I present to you:

The Top Ten Search Phrases That Have Led People to My Blog:

  1. What kind of dog is Grumpus (I’m not entirely sure, but he’s either really cute or really mean)
  2. How to come down from cocaine when I have to be up in two hours (This is an excellent question. Have you tried nitroglycerine?)
  3. Amphetamine IV (Great, now the FDA will think I’m up to all kinds of no good)
  4. Avoid feminists (Sounds like good advice)
  5. Car accident ducklings (Obviously, I’m not the only one who’s suffered at the hands of those nefarious ducklings!)
  6. When I was little my favorite game to play (If you have to search for what your favorite game to play was, perhaps that shouldn’t be your biggest concern)
  7. Puppies sickness – uncontrolled crying (Try taking the puppy outside to the bathroom)
  8. Birthday present+actress+adult (I’m pretty sure this person wasn’t looking for a blog…)
  9. Puppy pedicures (Sadly, this person will only learn how to mess this up on my blog)
  10. Today puppy daeler email address (I don’t even know what this means)

I think it’s pretty clear that we’ve covered a lot of ground on this blog. Lots of fun for everyone!

3 thoughts on “How Often Do You See Cocaine, Amphetamines, and Ducklings in the Same Place?

  1. I think cocaine, amphetamines, and ducklings really ought to be in the same place more often. Hyperactive ducklings that think they can do anything would be most excellent.

  2. -Hamburglar, that is actually a pretty good point. The question that bes to be asked, though, is this: Is the world ready for coked-out ducklings? I think not…

  3. Pingback: » Blog Archive » Vacation Detox

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