I Guess This Makes Me an Accoutrement Pundit

Just in case you live under a rock, the Super Bowl was yesterday. I know the marketing is a bit subtle so it would be easy to misjudge the date of the big game. Luckily, however, I did not miss the big game and as such have some observations. I tried discussing some of these ideas with Wes yesterday but after getting a few mumbled “uh huh” and “hmmm” overtures I decided I’d better converse with you, the Internet. Let’s discuss, shall we?

The Manning brothers. Seriously, I have to wonder what their mother did while pregnant to produce two Super Bowl-winning quarterbacks. What do you think family dinners will be like now? I would imagine that within the average family with a Super Bowl-winning quarterback (SBWQ) there would be a tacit understanding that this person is more exciting/successful/cool than the other family members. For instance, if there were such a SBWQ in my family, how could my thrilling tales of HR exploits possibly compare to the tales of an NFL quarterback? I can only imagine that they wouldn’t. Now, with two SBWQs in one family, how will their family dynamics adjust? Are there other siblings? Imagine being the younger brother of Peyton and Eli and working as an accountant or something. Oh, the angst!

*** Edited to add*** Apparently Peyton and Eli have an older brother. His name is Cooper.

Bill Belichick. Sore loser or just understandably disappointed? I can’t imagine how infinitely frustrating it must feel to spend years training to get to a point and knowing you’re good enough to make it only to be foiled at the last minute. Does this justifiable frustration validate his behavior after the game, though? I can’t help but feel that storming off the field before the game was officially over was a gesture of bad faith. Given my almost complete lack of organized sports experience, however, I could just be talking out of my knee and making no sense whatsoever. Do you care to agree, disagree, throw a shoe? I do love a good shoe throwing!

Tom Petty. Is it inexcusable to have been ignorant of the fact that he still plays publicly? I thought he and his band played well but there was a bit of a disconnect in seeing a large pit of 20-somethings jumping around to songs that were likely released before many of them were even born. Is it possible that the producers of the half-time show are still so spooked by the Janet Jackson boob-debacle that they have resolutely decided to exclusively book people so old that should they decide to flash people it can legally be considered senility?

The commercials. It may be because I don’t have cable television but I fail to see how Super Bowl commercials differ from regular ones. I laughed a few times but that’s par for me at any time of the day, really. Now, this may be my lack of exposure to commercials rearing its ugly head again, but it seemed to me that the Super Bowl commercials really had little to do with the product they were selling. Is this normal or is there so much pressure to produce an entertaining ad that companies say “Screw it!” and go for the old razzle dazzle? Additionally, am I the only person who cries during the Budweiser commercials? I kid you not, every freaking year those commercials come on and I get all weepy and not a single other person gets so much as a little misty. What is wrong with me?!

As you can see, my focus was not on the game so much as it was on the various accoutrements of the game. If the accessories weren’t an important part of the game, however, then why would they be included? If you want a detailed analysis of the plays and scores of the game, google “football pundit” and have fun. If you want a detailed analysis of Manning family dynamics and why commercials with pretty horses make me weepy you have come to the right place.

2 thoughts on “I Guess This Makes Me an Accoutrement Pundit

  1. Dude, so if I were Cooper Manning, I would totally invent some kind of office game and call it a Super Bowl just to not feel like a retard at thanksgiving.

  2. Heeheehee, but wouldn’t you feel just the tiniest bit sad anyway? It’s like making your own blue ribbon out of paper when your sibling has won a sports award. Trust me, the bitter taste of pity doesn’t grow any sweeter with age…

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