I know you were all probably waiting with bated breath for me to write about how, once again, I cleaned the house and freaked out. I’m sorry to disappoint, but there are other, more pressing matters on my mind this afternoon such as: aging. I’m on the brink of a birthday and it’s got me thinking.
First, there are the presents. I’m currently sitting in my birthday present from Wes: a cushy leather office chair. My previous chair was great, if you like scratchy grey polyester, but this one makes sitting in front of a computer almost as nice as laying down on a pillow at night. It’s all kinds of decadent and now Wes had the added challenge of trying to coax me from my chair to engage in normal household activities. At this point, if it doesn’t involve me sitting in my chair, it’s not happening.
Second, there’s the past and present, which are both pretty great. I mean, I’ve always had a strange relationship with age so I guess turning a year older doesn’t change much. As a child, I was always much older mentally than I should have been and that continued up until I was 19 and in therapy.
My therapist told me that, mentally, I was in my late 20’s. This sounds like a neat thing until you consider that I was missing out on all the freedom and frivolity of my early 20’s. Since that invaluable time on the therapist’s couch, I’ve dedicated a lot of time to aging backward. It seems at times like I’ve finally reached the same age mentally that I am chronologically, but at others it feels like I’ve gone too far.
For example, I love puppets. As in, I’m completely fascinated and delighted by them (particularly if they have little felt tongue shapes in their puppety mouths.) My love with puppets amuses my husband, who is surprised by little at this point, but at times I wonder if that’s a symptom of having digressed too far. I am an over-achiever so it wouldn’t surprise me if I hit my target age and kept right on going. Regardless, I’m happy so I guess whatever age I’m at is the right one.
So no, it’s not really the past, present, or presents that’s getting my mental cogs a-creaking. It’s the future that preoccupies my mind lately. I’m not sure if I’m the only one who’s noticed this, but it’s looking pretty uncertain out there lately. I’ll be the first to admit that the future scares me a little.
As part of my job with Qvisory, I injest a ton of news and information every day and what I see…well, it sucks. For starters, $4/gallon gas? Something’s so wrong with that. It could just be the universe’s response to global warming but I don’t think so. I am really glad that Wes and I drive relatively little but I shudder to think about what this is going to do to other people. I saw diesel gas this morning at a price of $4.79/gallon and I almost choked on my coffee. How can anyone afford that?
In addition to the egregious gas prices, the cost of food is going up too. Mean incomes are actually declining whole the cost for living shoots up faster than an exploding toilet. I don’t see this portending happy times at all.
The one thought that keeps me going is that even though our country appears to be toiling under the heavy burden of a recession (or a slow-growing economy, as the double-speak artists at the Fed like to call it) this is not the first time this has happened.
This has all been done before, one need only look back and examine America’s history in the last 100 years to see everything we’re seeing now, and we’re all still here. That thought gives me hope, and I have the feeling that even if I’m saving pennies in a jar like my grandmother did during the Depression, I’ll still have that hope.
So, in conclusion to this long and not-at-all cohesive post, I think that the future looks pretty ugly right now but I don’t think it’ll be that way forever, I really like my new chair, and I’ve now alerted the world to my undying love of puppets. Really, when you think about it, we covered a lot of ground…