June Loon

It’s graduation season. Everywhere I look are the pleasant reminders of school-times and the unique pleasure associated with summer for students. For the first time since I was five years old I’m not progressing to a new academic level or graduating to new challenges. For the first time in remembrance, June is just June.

I have to be honest with you, it feels weird.

I graduated from college last year and started a full time job shortly afterward. While I didn’t progress to a new educational level, I did graduate and move on to something new so it didn’t feel all that different to me. Now, though, I’m just working like I’ve been working since February. June will come and go with no major changes and it feels strange, almost like time has stopped.

When you’re in school, each year brings different classes, new schedules, and the promise of an approaching graduation. Summer means a short break and when June rolls around you are practically crawling out of your skin in anticipation of the free time you’ll have. It seems like, since starting kindergarten, I’ve been behaviorally conditioned to associate June with transition, vacation, and joyous anticipation. With June almost halfway over it feels downright strange to approach it with the same plodding attitude with which I approach most months.

If I’d had this blog a year ago, I would undoubtedly have written about how much I freaked out about graduating from college. It was torturous for me to graduate without a job offer in hand and the future was entirely too muddled for my comfort. I’m a bit more comfortable with uncertainty now, thanks in large part to my relinquishing the illusion of control over every aspect of my life, but I suppose relinquishing my ingrained identity as a student will take a bit more time.

Shortly after graduating, did you find yourself struggling with a similar sense of mild confusion, or am I just the only maladjusted young adult who reads this blog?

4 thoughts on “June Loon

  1. I didn’t enjoy either my college or law school graduations because of that sense of uncertainty. It didn’t help that I didn’t have jobs either time.

  2. -Dane, I think that’s truly what separates high school graduation from college and grad school graduations. In HS, when you graduate you have a new school to look forward to. When you graduate later on, the real world is waiting. I wonder if perhaps we both would have enjoyed our college/grad school graduations if we’d been employed first.

  3. I don’t wonder at all… I know for a fact I would have been happier, prouder, and enjoyed the situations more had I known what was next. I think I deal well with uncertainty and the necessity of improvisation and adaptation, but that certainly doesn’t mean it’s enjoyable. Especially when standing on the rain-slicked precipice of darkness. Darkness, of course, being uncertain job prospects. And a new video game.

  4. -Dane, well put. I admit, I look forward to the day when I’ve learned to enjoy events and occasions for what they are and not what I wish they were. Also, I thought the Darkness was a band as well. One way ticket to hell and back, anyone?

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