It’s graduation season. Everywhere I look are the pleasant reminders of school-times and the unique pleasure associated with summer for students. For the first time since I was five years old I’m not progressing to a new academic level or graduating to new challenges. For the first time in remembrance, June is just June.
I have to be honest with you, it feels weird.
I graduated from college last year and started a full time job shortly afterward. While I didn’t progress to a new educational level, I did graduate and move on to something new so it didn’t feel all that different to me. Now, though, I’m just working like I’ve been working since February. June will come and go with no major changes and it feels strange, almost like time has stopped.
When you’re in school, each year brings different classes, new schedules, and the promise of an approaching graduation. Summer means a short break and when June rolls around you are practically crawling out of your skin in anticipation of the free time you’ll have. It seems like, since starting kindergarten, I’ve been behaviorally conditioned to associate June with transition, vacation, and joyous anticipation. With June almost halfway over it feels downright strange to approach it with the same plodding attitude with which I approach most months.
If I’d had this blog a year ago, I would undoubtedly have written about how much I freaked out about graduating from college. It was torturous for me to graduate without a job offer in hand and the future was entirely too muddled for my comfort. I’m a bit more comfortable with uncertainty now, thanks in large part to my relinquishing the illusion of control over every aspect of my life, but I suppose relinquishing my ingrained identity as a student will take a bit more time.
Shortly after graduating, did you find yourself struggling with a similar sense of mild confusion, or am I just the only maladjusted young adult who reads this blog?