Fresh off the boat of yet another strange weekend (seriously, weird things always happen to me on the weekend. You have to be pretty careful when you ask me how my weekend went) I’m sitting here in my empty house, super-charged and ready to go. You see, I was pretty upset about not getting a positive pregnancy test on Saturday and when I get really upset there’s really only one thing for me to do.
Make a choice. I can either choose to wallow in my melancholy (and infinite sadness) and be really and truly miserable or I can dust myself off, stick out my stubborn little jaw, and kick sand in the face of whatever’s bothering me.
I chose sand kicking this time.
I figure that if this is how my uterus is gonna be about this whole thing then fine, but I’m not going down easy. I’m just gonna wait her out. She will eventually become a home for my progeny and she’s just gonna have to be happy about it because 1) I’m more stubborn than she is and 2) I’m in charge of the chocolate consumption around here and if she doesn’t start being a little more accommodating she may find her chocolate privileges dwindling.
Likewise for my writing situation. I submitted my latest chapter to my writing group for review on Saturday and it didn’t go very well. They gave me the kiss of death, they said they didn’t understand my character very well. Shoot me right in the face, why don’t you?
I gotta figure that 60-odd pages into this novel, if my readers don’t understand my main character something is really wrong. Now I have to comb through everything I’ve written so far and try to figure out why no one understands my poor protagonist. It’s enough to make me want to hang up my noveling hat right now.
As if that weren’t enough, I read a novella by Jim Butcher (the author of the much beloved Dresden Files) and it made me crazy. He’s so good! I love his writing so much! Why do I suck so much?!
Enter Wes. He shook me firmly and said every artist throughout time has always admired and respected someone else’s work. I asked him if even Matthew Bellamy of Muse, patron saint of rock guitarists everywhere, admired other people’s stuff. Wes told me that Bellamy has great affection for Led Zeppelin, and that encouraged me.
If even Matthew Bellamy, who makes my eyes go crossed with his undeniable talent, looks up to someone then maybe it’s not a total waste of my time to keep trying to write even though people like Stephen King and Jim Butcher make me feel quivery and I’m-not-worthy on a nearly daily basis.
So, the moral of this story is: Even though (so far) I suck at getting pregnant and writing novels, I’m stubborn and will keep at it. Kicking sand in the face of adversity, because I’m just too stubborn to lie down and quit.
Just don’t kick the sand so hard it flies up into your mouth. There’s nothing worse than grit floating around between your teeth.
I didn’t understand (or much like) Bella in the Twilight series but the rest of the characters are what kept me reading. How’s your supporting cast?
-Blanche, Oh MAN, sand in the mouth is awful but it’s daisies compared to getting sand in your eyes. I once blew sand out of my goggles and it went into my eyes and I thought I was gonna die. AWFUL.
From what I’ve heard my supporting characters are solid, readers seem to think they’re enjoyable and easy to imagine so I guess that’s something. I guess that’s good, but I would like people to understand and like my main character too. Am I asking too much?
Well, you’re the protagonist in your blog, and you do a pretty good job here. Actually, it’s freaking hilarious. So you just gotta channel yourself into your novel’s protagonist!
Hehe, I love that Butcher has changed your thinking on your writing…. and you’ve only just been introduced to him this year!
He did the same thing for me, and I don’t write!
But butcher admits all the time that he reads other people’s work, and he even says he is not that good to begin with. A humble guy, if you ask me!
-April, You made me go all blushy, thank you very much! I’m trying to infuse the novel with enough voice to keep it interesting, but it’s a bit tough because my main character is nothing like me at all. She handles life differently, so it’s harder to get inside her head I guess. Thank you muchly for the encouragement, it’s very appreciated!
-Matt, I know, you changed my life! If by changed my thinking about my writing means he convinces me on a near-daily basis that I have no business trying to write novels then yes. Changed my thinking entirely ;) Oh man, if he’s humble too it’s icing on the cake. It would be amazing to meet him someday. I wonder if he resembles Harry Dresden at all…
Collin met him at a book signing… and, from his interviews, I can tell he is the coolest guy alive.
-Matt, *sigh* That’s awesome, that he hasn’t let fame go to his head. I’m pleased to hear Collin enjoys the series as well, though it surprises me little :)