This whole trying-to-get-pregnant thing has been a classic Erikan comedy of errors. At first, I was going to be coy about the whole thing. I was going to wait until I was out of the first trimester to break the news that Wes and I were expecting.

Ha.

That resolve lasted all of two seconds before I cracked from excitement and wrote in this post about how I hope Wes and I will be able to expand our family this year (and I didn’t mean with a hamster).

Once that cat was out of the bag, it was all over and before I knew it I was Twittering about feeling nauseous (not because of baby, but because of nasty pre-natal vitamins) and lamenting that those “Test 5 days early!” pregnancy tests are a waste of money but so. very. tempting.

It would appear that I lack the strength of will, or self-restraint if you will, to be coy about this whole process. Not like this lady. I don’t know how she managed to wait so long to tell the Internets but she is way more self-controlled than I am.

So, in the spirit of all the not-coy going on around here, I thought I’d share some of the things I’ve learned so far during this whole phase of hopefully expanding our family (and my waistline):

• I am unbearably impatient. I am incapable of waiting (with grace, anyway) for anything I am even a little bit excited about. For past reference, please see my little episode with Ambien during the week before my wedding.
• I am ambitious. I want to be the chick who gets pregnant the very second she starts trying! With the smartest baby! And the lowest amount of weight gain! This is silly and will only lead to problems, which leads me to the next point.
• I am incapable of thinking rational thoughts when I’m excited. I can tell myself ’til I’m blue in the face that testing early is a huge waste of money, but as soon as The Crazy starts up I’m done for. I may as well possess no critical thinking skills whatsoever for how much good they do me during times like those.
• Wes in incredible, and quite possibly the most helpful and loving husband in the world.
• I no longer have the ability to keep my pie-hole closed about key matters in my personal life. The minute something happens I have the urge to either blog or tweet about it. Am done for. You can list “social media” as c.o.d.

That’s about all I’ve learned so far. Not too profound, but it’s been eye-opening in a way because I never knew these particular traits of mine would become so pronounced the minute we started trying to have a kid.

All I can do is shrug and tell you I’m not really surprised because really, if I get completely insane and impatient about birthday gifts, there’s really nothing at all surprising about me losing my mind over becoming a parent.

Babies are like the most intense gift ever, and they even come with a surprise element because 1) You don’t know what the gender is for a reeeally long time and 2) You never really know exactly when they’re going to show up.

Given that I can’t handle surprises, and it drives me crazy to be out of control and unable to plan for things, it just dawned on me: Babies are my kryptonite.