The More You Know

Things I’ve learned from buying maternity pants:

  1. All pregnant women are rich, and therefore do not mind paying twice as much for their jeans.
  2. When you get pregnant, you magically shrink/grow and no longer require such frippery as sizes that come long/short.
  3. Pregnant women are not interested in looking attractive, and would, in fact, prefer their pants to gape as much as possible in unflattering places such as the hips and thighs.
  4. The only people who sell their maternity jeans to consignment stores are tiny.  Tall and/or larger women like to hoard their clothes.
  5. Pregnant women will get desperate to buy your crap once they get large enough, so never offer to sell your stuff on sale.  It shows weakness.  They’ll come knocking once their pants are biting into their rapidly ballooning mid-sections.

As you can see, it was a very informative weekend wherein I may or may not have found myself frustrated to the point of tooth-gnashing by the expensive and limited nature of maternity jeans.

What, if anything, have you learned from going shopping?

12 thoughts on “The More You Know

  1. I have learned that most shoe manufactures do not acknowledge that women still wear a size 5 shoe. Seriously. And I will cut the next person who suggests that I shop in the Children’s shoe department. If I wanted to wear shoes that lite up, have inappropriate amounts of glitter, and no arch support, then sure, but mostly NO. There is a reason I don’t have lots of shoes and that’s because shoe shopping makes me homicidal.

    On the pants issue, I fail to understand why even when manufacturers do make short/tall pants in one style, they refuse to spread the joy across all styles. Example: Eddie Bauer petite curvy fit jeans – in one word: bliss. Any other Eddie Bauer petite pants – gappy waist, saggy seat, bad, bad, bad.

  2. -Blanche, This comment cracked me up. Honestly, suggesting you shop in the children’s section? Pshaw. That’s why we need to be rich, so we can pay to have clothes and shoes custom made for us.

    Also, I agree on the pants. I would also love to know why jeans are so dang expensive. How can Eddie Bauer justify charging $50 for jeans?!

  3. I buy mine at the local E.B. outlet, so not quite $50 (but not that much off either unless I happen to catch one of their very infrequent sales on jeans) – and you know what I noticed the last time I was there…the women’s jeans are more expensive than the mens. What’s up with that?

  4. -Blanche, I shop at the outlets as well but I still found their prices exorbitant. I love their clothes, dislike their prices. I, too, noticed the pricing disparity. Apparently women are just richer than men? Bigger suckers? Realize how unlikely it is they’ll find a better deal elsewhere?

  5. I went shopping for maternity jeans this weekend, and surprisingly, the best-fitting jeans were the cheapest at 35 bucks, AND they came in a Petit Extra Large. :D I got them at Destination Maternity, and I’m pretty sure they are Motherhood Maternity brand, the ones with the secret fit belly.

  6. -Nancy, Score! I liked the secret fit belly, I just didn’t like the Motherhood Maternity prices =/ I shudder to spend more than $25 on jeans, so this has been a real struggle for me. It just feels so decadent!

  7. LOL. And here, I thought 35 bucks was cheap. If you’re handy with a sewing machine or can find a seamstress, you can have your regular jeans altered…. just buy the stretchy fabric at the fabric store.

  8. -Nancy, I am a HUGE cheapskate (which my husband loves) and have a very hard time shopping for clothes. They just…they don’t last, and it galls me to shell out lots of money for something I know will be falling apart after a couple years.

    Good suggestions on the sewing! My mother in law is very handy with a sewing needle, might have to hit her up…

  9. For the record (and drawing on my GREAT breadth of experience as a mother of one), tall and/or larger women don’t sell their maternity pants b/c they have recognized the concept of maternity pants to be the Best Ever Invented. Pants that for the most part look like normal pants but have an incredibly forgiving waist? Brilliant.

    I guess that, were we to follow the logic behind this, tall and/or larger women are just smarter than tiny women. Another reason to screw ’em all.

  10. -Kate, It is a seriously brilliant idea. If my maternity jeans weren’t so baggy and shapeless I’d totally consider them sanctioned Thanksgiving pants.

  11. This made me laugh out loud. I’m 24 weeks pregnant and as yet have bought NO maternity clothes. This is not because I’m tiny–in fact, none of my pre-pregnancy pants fit me by the time I hit 20 weeks, and I’ve only survived this long due to a lovely little thing called the elastic waist band. It is, rather, for all the reasons you mentioned above, plus one other: every pair of pants in maternity clothing stores looks about as high-quality as something from K-Mart or Wal-Mart. Yes, I am a clothing snob. I can’t help it, and the fact that I prefer high-quality clothing is not about to change just because I’m pregnant! On the other hand, I don’t want to invest good money in something I’ll wear for a couple months and then pack away until/unless I have another child!

    And I have looked at thrift stores. But can someone please explain to me why every single item of maternity clothing I’ve seen in Goodwill looks about 20 years old and so ugly I wouldn’t give it to my enemy?

    However, I’ve reached the breaking point. This weekend it’s do or die, because if I don’t find one or two pairs of pants to wear I’m going to start getting frostbite on my legs.

  12. -Caroline, Seriously! You have to pay a ton of money for jeans that feel flimsy and thin! And of course they won’t put them on sale or anything, because that would be pedestrian.

    Also, the Goodwill and consignment shops have very VERY few worthwhile finds. It’s so discouraging! I tried for weeks to find a good deal, but came up fruitless so I bent to the inevitable and bought full-price maternity jeans from Old Navy.

    I hate to admit it, but I’m so glad I finally succumbed. They’re so much more comfortable!!!

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