A lot of people opine that marriage is a great mirror, pointing out and illuminating the character flaws that might escape unnoticed without benefit of a spouse. While this is all well and good, I opine that, if you can’t see them on your own, why fix them? It’s obviously not bothering anyone else enough to motivate them to suggest you change, so no harm no foul, right?
Maybe. If you are married, though, the cat’s already pretty much digested the canary and it’s pretty inevitable that you’re going to have the pleasure of coming face to face with something about yourself eventually. Maybe it’s that you snort when you’re faking laughter, maybe it’s that you revert to petty criticisms when you’re feeling vulnerable, maybe it’s that you perpetually leave the blinker on long after merging.
In the 3+ years I’ve been married (depending on who you ask, I’m either a marriage newborn or a wizened mage), I’ve learned a few things about myself. Allow me to share:
- I turn into the silliest, most enfuriatingly obnoxious person when I’m shy or uncomfortable. It becomes impossible to get me to focus and/or stop giggling.
- I am spectacularly lazy when I don’t have very much to do. I have been known to call Wes on his cell, when he’s sitting downstairs, to ask him to come upstairs and refill my water glass.
- I am a shirt-folding dynamo. Seriously, I can fold a t-shirt perfectly in one second. If there was an Olympics for shirt-folding, it’d have my name already engraved on it.
- I like really bad natural-disaster movies. I always thought everyone liked these movies, until Wes told me that no one likes them. This was what the experts call a “watershed moment.”
- I am singularly short-sighted when it comes to identifying when someone has forgotten something important and messed something up. This person is never me, and is almost always Wes.
Allow me to demonstrate, using a small vignette gleaned from a conversation Wes and I had earlier this morning:
Scene: Phone call between Wes and Erika. Wes has just returned from a routine check-up, and is calling Erika to give her the news that he’s in perfect health.
Wes: Everything came back normal. Blood pressure, lungs, everything looks great.
Erika: What about cholesterol? They were supposed to check that.
Wes: They couldn’t do the blood test today because apparently I wasn’t supposed to eat anything this morning.
Erika: Dude, I told you not to eat anything for breakfast. I even wrote that in the email I sent you about your appointment like, two weeks ago.
Wes: Then why did you make me breakfast this morning?
Erika: …Yeah, why did I make you breakfast this morning?
I can remember a lot of things, but the older I get, and the busier life becomes, the more I let things slip and the more I have to realize (Oh, I am dying on the inside to admit this) that my memory is not perfect and, as a result, that sometimes I mess things up because I forget.
If I didn’t have Wes here to keep me honest, though, I’d never have to worry about having to admit to forgetting things because I could just do what I always do and pretend those things never happened! Win!
Maybe you can help me settle my debate:[poll id=”6″]