On Facebook right now, there’s a movement wherein women post Me, too to spread awareness of how widespread the issue of sexual assault is. I’ve been thinking about these disclosures a lot, and posted this on Facebook in response. I’ve copied it here because I feel strongly about what it says.
The Me, Too disclosures have been on my mind a lot. For every female acquaintance or friend of mine who speaks up, my heart breaks a little. That these women, these strong, articulate, educated women have been violated and humiliated by men who by and large escape the encounters unscathed is wrong in every way.
The reason the disclosures have been bothering me is that very few of the women I know well can say they’ve never been harassed, molested, or raped. I can’t tell you how many women I’ve talked to about this. It’s something almost all of us have done our best to put behind us.
What this tells me is that this isn’t the kind of thing WOMEN need to be more aware of.
In short, what I’d like to see all over Facebook is men speaking up and owning up to the times they pushed things too far, did something they weren’t supposed to, or made a woman feel uncomfortable. What I’d like to see is men holding EACH OTHER accountable.
I’ve been sexually assaulted three times in my life. Two of those times I was underage and my assailant was more than twice as old as me. I promise you, those guys didn’t bother themselves a bit about their actions, because we were all taught that men can’t be held accountable for their libidos.
It’s time for men to hold themselves accountable. It’s time for the perpetrators to feel shame, not the victims. The women I know who’ve been assaulted have all found strength in each other and found ways to move on. We, by and large, have each other’s backs on this.
It’s the men’s turn. Speak up. Own up to it if you’ve messed up and do better in the future. Call other men out on their predatory behavior. Raise a future generation of men who will respect the women in their lives because YOU demonstrate respect for the women in your life.
It’s time. Past time, really. We’re 3D printing body parts, for crying out loud. I think being respectful of women isn’t too much to ask.