Comments on: On Being Adopted

By: Erika

Erika — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:54:10 +0000

-Jen, Thank you, I’m so glad you appreciated this post. That’s kinda what I’ve been hoping, that people don’t know how it affects others when they point this kinda stuff out. I’m giving people the benefit of the doubt that they’re not being malicious about it, but I still think it’s helpful to know how those kinds of comments feel.

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 15:06:10 +0000

I’m really sorry for everything that you are going through.
And you know what? I appreciate this post. I don’t think I would have ever said something like that – I am a step child and cringe when I am introduced as such since my step father is “my dad” – but it is always good to put these kind of things out there. Maybe people don’t realize what they are actually saying, you know?

Hang in there.

By: Erika

Erika — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:58:35 +0000

-Belle, Thanks lady! I’m doing, well, I guess as ok as can reasonably be expected. Thanks for asking :)

By: Belle

Belle — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 18:46:39 +0000

What a horrible time for people to be pointing that out!! I totally agree – family is defined by the type of relationships you have and not blood. I know many blood relatives that aren’t as close as it sounds like you and your dad were. I hope you’re doing okay!

By: Erika

Erika — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:33:57 +0000

-EdgellACE, Seriously, it’s so nice to know other people Get It. I’m really glad you and your dad found each other, and that he sticks up for you to snooty family members :)

By: EdgellACE

EdgellACE — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 17:26:50 +0000

Same thing for me, but I was 8 months old. My mom will say the same thing, he was my father from day 1. In school they use to call out my mothers maiden name & I would correct them, it wasn’t until 4th grade that they told me I had a different dad, who I refer to as sperm donar. We wated until I was in 7th grade to adopt, because he wanted me to fully understand the situation.

I remember being in the judge’s chamber and he asked my father why he wanted to adopt me now. My dad told him that he loved me from the moment he walked around the corner & saw my bright red curls, he looked into my green eyes, and the moment I uttered da-da he knew that I was his & blood didnlt make one bit of difference.

Growing up, I only remember 2 incidents, to my face, about me not being his blood. One from my grandma, he didn’t talk to her for a year until she apologized to me & him. Then my one step bro, he moved back in after college & was kicked out after that comment.

Now, I only mention I’m adopted when someone is like, you’re related to them?! You would understand if you had a family like mine, it is large and sadly some are very different when it comes to law, etc.

The only time I ever think of the sperm donar is when strangers tell me that I look like a twin to this girl a few towns over, my mothers old neighboring town. My dad once told me that my sperm donar is a complete idiot for not wanting to be a part of my life. I only need my father.