Organic Rudeness

Historically, Whole Foods has had a reputation for being a nice place to shop for crazily over-priced food that looks the exact same as the food at Safeway but has browner packaging and says “organic” on it. Well, no longer. I am debunking the heck out of that myth right this second.

I stopped by Whole Foods on my way home today to purchase some dessert for Wes and I to enjoy later. I perused the cakes in the bakery display case and had finally selected one (before swallowing my gall at conceding to pay $25 for a small cake) and waited patiently for someone to come assist me with my purchase.

And waited.

And waited.

Ten minutes later, I stopped waiting and grabbed a pie. Well, what goes better with pie than ice cream, yes? The trouble was, the aisles are all wonky there (some are sideways, some are straight up and down, and others are diagonal) so I asked the nearest clerk to please help me. My words, “Excuse me, where might I find the ice cream?” Her words, “In the frozen foods aisle.”

No. Freaking. Kidding.

After I stood there incredulous for what must have been a long time, she sighed heavily and said, “What? You want me to show you?” At this point, it took all my considerable will to not eat her entire freaking head right there in the natural baby care aisle (I mean, was she so rude because she could just tell that I eat meat?) She showed me to the frozen foods aisle with nary a smile and then I grabbed some vanilla and stood in line to check out.

Now, I’m not certain of this, but it seemed like every single cashier in the whole store was intent on not only having an in-depth conversation with every single person, but was also intent on bagging groceries in the slowest, most labor-intensive way possible. I could have just been irate from the previous two affronts to my patience, but it really seemed to take forever to pay for my goods.

All this to say, I will not be shopping there again. Not now, not later, not in the far future. I don’t care if they discover tomorrow that non-organic foods will make my face fall off, I will not go there again. I’ll take my money and my good manners to PCC, where they’ll be more comfortable.

Am I the only one in the world who’s had this experience? I ask because, apparently if you think that every single person in the world has a serious problem, then supposedly you’re the one with the problem. If I’m the one with the problem I’d like to know about it, you know? And if not, well, it’d be nice to know that I’m not the only omnivore to be treated cavalierly at Whole Foods.

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