Dear Pandora,
You are a free Internet radio station. This is pretty cool, especially considering that for you, the tunes never stop. I never have to interrupt my groove to listen to the jingle from Sleep Country USA, nor do I have to harsh my Radiohead buzz by listening to Pierre Money Mart entice people into horrible loans they can’t afford.
You’re always available at any computer that’s equipped with speakers and the Internet, and I can’t even express how special that is. I don’t have to worry about lugging my very decrepit CD collection into the office. You’re easy to carry with me, you’re reliable, and you always play something good.
As if all of this wasn’t reason enough to love you, you are intelligent! You listen to my likes, my dislikes, and pay attention to my favorite bands. You take this information very seriously and use it to create a custom playlist full of gems I’ve never heard but instantly love. I never knew how similar Pink Floyd could be to Radiohead but you showed me the way.
You? Are fantastic. Never change.
There’s only one small problem that I’d like to discuss with you before I sign my farewell: Why do you think I like The Strokes so much? I listed Muse, Radiohead, Modest Mouse, Damien Rice, and Elliott Smith as my favorite artists and for some reason this indicated to you that I have a thing for The Strokes.
This is not the case. If I wanted to hear The Strokes every other song, I would have included them as one of my favorite artists. I neither like them nor dislike them, and it is this exact indifference that makes it difficult for me to give you a definitive thumbs-down for every one of their songs you subject me to.
Now, I understand that you’re a free service. I am fully cognizant of the fact that this limits my ability to demand that you stop forcing The Strokes upon me like unwelcome house guests. In the interest of enriching and improving our brand-new (though very promising) relationship, though, let’s have a little less of The Strokes and a little more of the good stuff.
Sound fair? I hope so.
Hugs and kisses,
Erika Mitchell
(for Kindle)
(printed book)
4 comments
Comment by DC on March 3, 2009 at 7:09 am
Pandora selects songs based on strict, very complicated and impressive sounding algorithms, utilizing precise quantifiable and quantitatively defined qualitive data points… sort of like Charlie Epps on Numb3rs. It’s math AND and science.
The point is that you must be wrong. You quite obviously love The Strokes. You have to. Math says so.
Comment by Erika on March 3, 2009 at 7:27 am
-DC, Oh, when you explain it that way, I’m afraid that the fact that I covertly love The Strokes is painfully apparent. My only slight concern is that sometimes Charlie is wrong, because sometimes his brother forgets to give him some important variable that changes everything. Maybe the mathematical geniuses at Pandora have made a similar error. Like they forgot to account for the fact that I don’t really like The Strokes. That sounds like a pretty important variable to me.
Comment by Delisa on March 3, 2009 at 5:24 pm
I just started using Pandora about 20 minutes ago, and so far I have no complaints, but I’ve only been suggested a few songs so far, so I might need to expand my research. I love finding new songs and artists to listen to, and considering I don’t believe in spending money on CDs or MP3s anymore, hopefully it will do me well.
Comment by Erika on March 3, 2009 at 6:21 pm
-Delisa, Yeah, with Pandroa around there’s really no need to spend money on music! I’m glad you’re enjoying it, it’s such a neat thing to have around!