Paperclip Warfare


This image courtesy of Erik Johansson, who photoshops his pictures into beautiful art.

I…have not had the best day.  It wasn’t haunted by any one looming terrible thing that I can think of, just a lot of the tiny little irritations that wash over you until you’re ready to grab your paperclips and fashion tiny war weapons with them. 

That would actually be a pretty fun past-time, if you had tough hands that didn’t bruise from all the wire twisting and shaping.  I wonder which time period would give you the best weapons to form from paperclips.  Are you more a trebuchet and broadsword kind of person, or would you have more fun fashioning bayonets and tanks?

Me?  I think I’d probably content myself by crafting a couple lightsabers and having a duel between Darth Vader and Obi Wan Kenobi.  Except in my fights, Obi Wan would always win because his lightsaber would not accidentally-on-purpose fail, leaving him defenseless and helpless at the worst possible second.

There sure has been a lot of Star Wars around here lately.  I think it’s because I’ve finally finished all the published Dresden Files books and I’m in mourning.  They’ve been such a big part of my life since December and now I have to wait for the next one to get published just like the other unwashed masses.  I felt a similar sense of mourning and sadness when I finished the Harry Potter books, with the main difference being that at least with the Dresden Files I know more are forthcoming.  I can’t really think of what that has to do with Star Wars, but give me a couple hours and I’m sure I can put together a BS answer that will sounds reputable enough.

In addition to mourning my ready supply of Dresden, I’m also a bit distracted.  I started my next novel last weekend and it’s gotten me worked up in knots.  I’ve laid aside my first novel for a time because it needs to be completely rewritten and I’m not in touch with the story anymore.

When I wrote the first story, I was reading oodles of wedding blogs every day and that’s really where my head was at.  I’ve exhausted my wedding blog marketing at work, though, and in my personal life I’ve moved onto the making babies phase of things, so my writing’s reflecting that.

The new story is about a woman who tries to get pregnant and, in the course of things, finds out she has fertility issues.  I’ve decided to pour all the insecurity I have about being able to get pregnant into a story.  This seems a healthier way of dealing with it than either ice cream or avoidance.

The story’s written in 3rd person, which I learned this weekend is difficult for me.  It’s like walking up the stairs backwards: I can do it, but it feels funky and takes me four times as long.  It took me two hours to write ten pages, which is virtually unheard of for me.  My writing group is critiquing the first chapter this weekend and I’m anxious to hear their thoughts.  The story will either fly or it won’t, and I’d rather know now than 200 pages into the thing.

Let’s see…paperclips, Dresden Files, second novel.  I feel pretty good about what we’ve accomplished here today.  I really do want to know what kind of weapons you would fashion from paperclips if you had the time or inclination, though, so pipe up if you feel the urge.

2 thoughts on “Paperclip Warfare

  1. I like how I ruined your life…. remember, Dresden will be 21 books long, with a super crazy trilogy in there, to boot!

  2. -Matt, You didn’t ruin my life, you introduced me to what may be the best book series to ever happen to me. It’s a tie for favorite series with Stephen King’s Dark Tower. Maybe you can go try that one on for size and let me know what you think? I’m so glad there are more Dresden books on the way, and I stand in awe of Jim Butcher. How he can churn out that many books, and make every one better than the last, is mind-blowing.

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