I am the least fascinating person in the world right now.  My mind is a constant refrain of wondering when this baby is going to show up, and I’ve Googled so many labor induction methods and symptoms that I might have earned an honorary doctorate by now.

I go to bed every night wondering if this will be the night I wake up with contractions, and wake up disappointed every morning when I feel great and non-contracting and full of energy.  Squishy is oblivious, naturally.  He’s still wiggling and stretching and getting hiccups and generally not worrying a bit about coming out.  We tried enticing him with cookies.  It didn’t work.

The only silver lining has been the weather, which, seeing as how it’s been sunny and mild all week, has made getting outside for walks easier.  I just wish I felt like the walks were accomplishing something.  Other than getting me exercise and fresh air, that is.

Can’t you just feel the anxiety in this post, nigh smell the angst?  It’s a really strange day when you sit there thinking, “Man, I would just really love a huge contraction right about now.”  I almost don’t even want to post this, because it really is nothing but whining and being boring and blah.

But, post it I will, because I literally have nothing else to talk about and wouldn’t want people getting the wrong idea and thinking we’re having a baby soon or anything.  Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go eat some pineapple sprinkled with basil and oregano, shortly followed by bouncing on an exercise ball while pressing on acupressure points and slamming shots of blue and black cohosh.

The above sentence was all lies.  I’m not planning to do any of these things.  These are just some of the natural induction methods I’ve read about recently.