A Prelude to Shower Crying

Earlier this year, I made all kinds of plans and scheduled all kinds of author-y type events for May and June and August. I figured, “These months are forever away! I’ll schedule them for then, and that way I won’t ever have to worry about them! I’m a genius!”

Alas. Not a genius. It’s May now, and that means I actually have to do one of those author events tonight.

To say I’m nervous is an understatement.

When you’re a new author, you have to resign yourself to the fact that no one knows who you are. No one is going to pre-order your book, you will not have lines out the door at your book signings, and if you manage to sell enough books to cover the cost of your advertising and overhead, you should call it a day and pat yourself on the back.

You will not be Stephen King. You will not buy a fancy Manhattan penthouse with your advances. You are obscure. So obscure, in fact, that the hipsters don’t even know who you are yet.

This means that, unless you have a lot of really longsuffering friends and family, your book events might be a tad…lonely.

I’ve acknowledged this. I’ve prepared myself for it.

Still, I’d be lying if I said that the prospect of sitting in a library by myself on Monday night didn’t bum me out.

Oh, well. This is me paying my dues. I’ll chin up, maybe bring some Bailey’s in a flask, and have a good evening. If I have to, I’ll just play Scrabble on my iPad all night. That, and maybe indulge in a little Tobias Funke-style crying in the shower afterward.


Just like that.

All silliness and pessimism aside, I’m really looking forward to it. If even one person shows up and wants to talk about my book, I’m gonna call that a success. If there’s one thing I can talk about forever, it’s writing.

So, if you care to hang out with me and you’re in the Eastside area of Washington tonight, please come to my Meet the Author thing. I’d love to see you there. I’ll be at the Issaquah Library at 7 PM tonight.

Wish me luck :)

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