Solicitors

I just started work on a new novel today. Aidan’s naps have decreased in duration by about half, which means my writing time is precious and I have to squeeze every last ounce of it I can into a very short window.

I was just getting going this morning when DING DONG! The sound of the doorbell shattered the perfect quiet of my house. I crept to the door to behold not a person holding a giant check with my name on it, nor a stranded motorist looking for help. No, I saw a dude with a clipboard who wanted us to sign up to buy his lawn care.

I nearly lost it with the guy. I usually try to be patient and kind to solicitors, it’s neither a pleasant nor an easy job and I never want to be the person who makes someone’s life harder, but come on. There are only a few reasons why someone would be home at 11 am on a Tuesday.

  1. The person’s sick, which means that you just dragged that poor person off the couch and made them pause their silly movie so they could shuffle to the door and tell you that no, they’re not interested in whatever stupid thing you have the misfortune of selling that day.
  2. The person works from home, which means you’ve just interrupted whatever it was they were working on so they could dash over to the door to say that no, they would not like to buy new windows/prepay for cremation/have you treat their lawn with mushed-up leprechauns.
  3. The person is a stay at home mother, which means you not only interrupted whatever household projects she’s trying to cram in while her child’s sleeping, you also risked waking said child from said sleep all so she could tell you in no way will she ever be interested in buying crap from you and please go away before the child wakes up you heinous time-wasting wastrel!
  4. The person’s unemployed, in which case they’re in no position to buy stuff right now, so maybe don’t remind them of all the stuff that needs to be done on their house, okay?

Yikes. I sound like a crazy person, but I don’t think that makes my point any less valid. Solicitors should leave people alone from the hours of 8 am until 5 pm. If they want to come bother me at dinner time, I don’t care. I’ll probably just use my fresh hot dinner as an excuse to send them on their way anyway.

But they should leave the precious mid-day hours alone. For all our sakes. So that the next time they wake up some housewife’s name that shall not be mentioned, said solicitor doesn’t end up with a toilet brush in the eye.

4 thoughts on “Solicitors

  1. I’d totally put mushed-up leprechauns on my lawn if it was guaranteed to keep it green and sprout gold coins instead of mushrooms after every good rain.

    My neighborhood has a no solicitors sign right before the guard shack. I don’t think I truly appreciated it until now. But even the no call registry doesn’t stop the phone calls during nap time! Grrrr.

  2. -Blanche, Yeah, but can you really in good conscience condone the slaughter of leprechauns all for the sake of lawn care? Our neighborhood DOES have a no soliciting sign, I guess the lawn guy just doesn’t care?

  3. Eek, don’t encourage solicitors to bother us at dinnertime? Are you crazy? It’s the worst.

    Truth be told, there probably is no good time for some poor soul to knock on your door and try to sell you something. What a rough way to make a living. Assuming that is possible.

  4. -Working Girl, There probably is no ideal time for solicitors to bother people. I agree, that must be such a rough gig. Especially where we live!

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