I received a shocking text message from my husband yesterday. Brace yourself against the closest, brawniest person around, hold onto something solid, cross your t’s and dot your i’s because this is big. Shriek “What?!” out loud big. Nearly drive home in the middle of the day big. Are you ready?
He cut his own hair.
He grabbed the scissors I keep in the kitchen, stood in our bathroom, and trimmed hairs from his head without the help/guidance/wisdom of a trained and licensed professional. According to him, he did a pretty decent job on the front and top but lacked the proper equipment to do justice to the back and sides. I don’t know because I wasn’t there and he didn’t send me a picture.
One quick trip to Super Cuts and a very caps-locky conversation with his wife later, his hair is trimmed and neat for the first time since January. Our trash cans are overflowing with hair, my scissors may never cut right again, but his hair will not bother him again for at least a couple months.
Why did he do it? A number of reasons. One, we’re broke and hair cuts cost money and he’s loathe to spend money on something he could do himself for free. Two, his hair was getting pretty long and it bothered him to no end. Three, who hasn’t wondered whether they could just take care of their own hair?
Honestly, I want to know. Hairdressers make it look so easy, what with the clipping and layering and even-length-checking. There have been a couple times where I’ve looked at my sheet of long, unruly hair and thought, It can’t be that hard, can it?
What differentiates me from my husband, though, is that I stop there and realize the stakes. The stakes! A person’s hair is a big deal. If a person gets a bad haircut, there’s not a person around who doesn’t notice. Babies burst into panicked sobs when they see bad haircuts, old women clutch their pearls in horror, cross-dressing men shriek and avert their eyes. Bad haircuts hurt everyone. They’re the mistake you wake up to every day for a looooooong time.
It’s a good thing Wes is fearless. A true space monkey, shot up into space to pave the way for us all. If the economy gets worse we may all be cutting our own hair soon, then weaving the clippings into tunics and baskets. Wes is either a hero or a lunatic and, as is so often proven by history, the line between the two distinctions is fuzzy like a newborn bunny. Please help me decide.[poll id=”9″]