The Male of the Species

Wes and I were catching up on the newest season of Castle the other night and…

SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT! If you haven’t seen the latest season of Castle, read no further.

…Beckett was all up in knots because she’s talked to Castle’s ex-wife who told her why they divorced. The ex said Castle was fun to be married to but by the end she felt like he knew everything about her but she knew relatively little about him.

Cue Beckett looking into middle distance with an unsettled, pensive look on her face. This is a slightly tangential observation about her, but I kind of get the feeling she’s not very good at being in a relationship.

Anyway, the credits came on and I turned to Wes and said, “That’s a pretty apt description of most of the men I’ve ever known.”

It’s possible I’ve known a disproportionate number of cavemen, but I doubt it. I just think men and women are wired differently and people can run into problems when they start expecting their significant others to behave against their nature.

Take Wes and I, for example. If you get me going, I can make small talk forever. I’ll talk about how I feel about stuff, which will remind me of some salient memory from my childhood, which will probably spur me ┬áinto waxing philosophical about the kind of childhood I want for my kids.

All that stuff will make Wes’s eyes glaze over in less than a minute. If I ask Wes to tell me a story from his childhood, he’ll say, “I don’t have any.” It’s not that he doesn’t have any childhood memories, he’s just not thinking of any at the moment. If I ask him how he feels about something, nine times out of ten he’ll say, “I’m fine with it.”

However, if I ask him about economics, or the future of web-based computing, or music, he’ll start talking and only stop to take a breath when absolutely necessary. If you ask me about any of these things, I’ll say, “I’m fine with it.”

So in a way, it’s possible Wes knows me better than I know him, but I don’t think so. I think we just know each other in the way we prefer to be known. Every once in awhile Wes will tell me a childhood story, and every once in awhile I’ll read an article and discuss economics with Wes, but for the most part we stick to our wheelhouses and we’re cool with it.

Not that our relationship is perfect, but I think it’s a pretty good example of taking each other where we’re at. I don’t get all huffy at him for not talking about his emotions (which I trust are fine when he says they’re fine) and he doesn’t get all affronted that I have no idea what’s going on in the world of software development.

All this to say, I think Beckett (who is a fictional character) needs to chill the heck out and accept that her boyfriend is a man and stop expecting him to be someone he’s not.

Also? Can I just rant about a Bones episode I saw recently? It’s from the new season and called The Tiger In The Tale and a tiger gets shot during the course of the episode, prompting Bones to turn away from the sight of it and cry into Booth’s shoulder.

Are we expected to believe that Bones can look dispassionately at a dead child but can’t bear the sight of a dead tiger?

Nonsense. Absolute nonsense.

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