I am a bundle of hormones and anxiety and a strange, driving need to do laundry. My hormones make me moody and prone to oversensitive assertions that no one likes me, the anxiety keeps me up at night that the baby will be born any minute now and we’re just not ready yet what will he wear?!
The driving need to do laundry is a weird one, though. I seriously want nothing more than to pour detergent into a machine, push buttons, and listen as water whooshes over precious little outfits. Maybe it’s because this is one of the last things I have left to do to get ready for Squishy (this and also shopping for and buying cloth diapers). There’s just something so nice about clean clothes, and clean baby clothes are even better.
I mean, the nursery is done. The last thing we need for the nursery is a dust ruffle (which has been bought and is just waiting to have a ribbon sewn on it by Wes’ mother) but other than that the nursery is done. Thank you notes for baby gifts have been written, we have wipes, baby shampoo, a carseat, a pediatrician, a stroller, toys, books, and a fuzzy bouncy seat.
Once we get that whole cloth diaper situation taken care of, we’re officially ready. Except for the clothes. Those still need to be washed and folded and put away, then taken out and re-organized, then lovingly admired at least a few times. Then we’ll be ready.
Except we won’t be. Because Wes is still looking for a job and I’m still trying to wrap up projects at work. And we don’t have the laundry done. And we don’t have cloth diapers. So, what I’m saying is, we will be ready but maybe we won’t be. Which isn’t helping my anxiety at all.
Also not helping matters is that two other bloggers whose due dates were rather close to mine have already given birth (Heather and Sarah, if you’re curious). This is not giving me much security in the idea that we still have time to get our act together before this baby comes.
I’m not scared of the birth, or of breastfeeding, or of sleep deprivation. I’m scared that this baby’s going to be born and Wes will still be looking for a job, none of the baby clothes will be washed, and I won’t be able to figure out his cloth diapers and we’ll just end up using them as expensive dust rags.
Veteran moms, please help me out: At what point does the imminent birth of your child feel more exciting than terrifying?
It stays terrifying! But when he is here? You’ll realize none of that other stuff matters. You can throw the clothes in the washer before you leave for the hospital and dry them when you get back! I’ve cloth diapered two children, but didn’t bother buying the teeny tiny newborn sizes, because they outgrow them so fast. (Like, within two weeks! All I’m saying is, cut yourself some slack and don’t fret if you want to ease yourself into cloth diapering.)
So, you won’t really ever feel ready. But then you’ll go into labor and … your body will know the rest. When Violet was born, we didn’t even have a crib yet! Or a dresser! For a month, her clothes were folded and stored in a laundry basket, and she’s turned out perfectly fine so far.
I don’t begrudge you your worry, because goodness knows we all feel it/felt it. Just know that you will get through this, and even if he were born tonight, you’d be as prepared as you could possibly be! (I truly hope none of this sounds dismissive of your feelings, because I can remember it so well. I really admire how prepared you are, because as I mentioned above, I wasn’t even close to that!)
He’ll have a job very soon now, but even if it takes a little bit of time, my dad was unemployed for six months before and after I was born. Not just underemployed with contract work and whatnot, but fully unemployed after being furloughed. As a silver-lining result, we had a lot of great bonding time my first few months of life and I’ve only got like two permanent scars on my head because of it. Somehow the family muddled through as they always tend to do with devoted conscientious parents, and in the end I think I as a product turned out okay. I mean, I haven’t spent any time in jail for any major felonies. Yet.
-Diane, My due date is February 24, so we officially have less than a month (or less! or more! depending on whether he’s an early bird, on time, or tardy). It’s true, I can acknowledge that’s it’s rational good sense that we can wash the clothes after he’s born too…Now, if I can just get my preggo brain on board! Thank you for sharing with and consoling me, it helps so much to know that other people had to get ready for babies too, and didn’t everything done perfectly beforehand, and their babies lived! And thrived! And a wormhole didn’t open up and devour the lot of them whole!
-dc, Your comment made me weepy but in a totally good way. You had me at “great bonding time.” Thanks for telling me this, it helps to be reminded of the fact that Squishy’s due date isn’t an exploding one, and that life will go on if we don’t have everything figured out before he’s here. And if our son turns out like you as a byproduct of a similar start in life…I suppose I won’t be too upset ;)
My head exploded just flipping through the Babies-R-Us “essentials” book. I can’t imagine where you are now. But I suppose I’ll be doing the same thing soon enough, and you’ll be the wise old bird giving me advice!
-Blanche, Yes, Babies R Us would have us believe it requires a second mortgage and an entire additional 1000 square feet to properly welcome a child into the world. LIES! No worries, by the time you have just a few weeks left I’m sure I’ll be very dignified and have my act together and…well, I’m sure I’ll be back to showering every day so maybe we should just strive for that?