Wow, Twitter is like blogging on crack. Whereas I am normally exposed to ten to fifteen new ideas or fun websites every day, I’m now getting blasted with 100+. To be truthful, this has the effect of making me feel a tad overwhelmed with information at times. It’s one thing to keep up with ten blogs. It’s quite another to add twenty new feeds to the mix.
This made me snort water out my nose thing morning. It’s so hideous, so silly, so completely funny that I had to add it to our steadily growing Things That Do Not Suck collection.
Now, the idea of trying to convert people to thinking of fish as sea kittens is ludicrous. This we all know. Just for funsies, though, let’s explore some ways that fish differ from kittens:
- The last time I checked, kittens lack that dead-eyed glare that fish are famous for.
- If you dangle rope in front of a fish, it will bite it, eat it, and choke on it (unless, of course, you’re fishing and actually want the fish to do this). If you dangle a rope in front of a kitten, the cuteness will make your heart explode.
- You never look at a kitten going about its business and think, “Doesn’t it get bored doing that all day?”
- Fish are delicious. No one will ever know if kittens are too because again with the cuteness.
- If a child’s fish dies, it’s a one-way trip to the toilet for it before it starts to smell. If a child’s kitten dies, cue the inconsolable sobbing and discussion about kitten heaven. There is no fish heaven, because no one cares.
Now, don’t think me cruel-hearted. I love animals (both my parents will attest to this fact, as my bedroom also doubled as a menagerie during my youth) but fish are not, nor will they ever be, sea kittens. That is ridiculous crap.