Grrrrrr.

Grrrrrr.

When I was young I used to have this recurring nightmare in which I went bowling with friends and the party was broken up when a terminator robot busted into the bowling alley and slaughtered everyone.  I escaped the building and hid under a car until the terminator removed his head and rolled it under the car, whereupon it exploded and I woke up.

Knowing this, you’d think that I hated the terminator movies but you’d be wrong.  I have no idea how old I was when I first saw a naked Arnold Schwarzenegger stroll into a bar to the tune of “Bad to the Bone,” but I have loved the movies ever since.  It’s been approximately one million years since I watched one, but I still hold a very dear place in my heart for those movies.

As a result, this week’s Thing That Does Not Suckis a no-brainer: The new Terminator movie.  I’d always been curious about what the post-apocalyptic world of the future the first movies hinted at looked like, and now I get to find out.  I have no idea whether or not the movie is any good, but I have to be honest: I’ll probably love it even if it’s terrible.  What can I say?  We all know I’m a sucker for action movies of dubious quality.

Also, it certainly doesn’t help that the movie stars Christian Bale.  I have a lot of respect for him as an actor after watching what he did to himself to star in the movie The Machinist (dude, I’ve never seen a living person get that skinny).  I think he’s terrific in the Batman movies, I adored his performance in 3:10 to Yuma, and I think he was creepy as could be in American Psycho.  He’s a fine actor, and I have faith he’ll make the new Terminator movie look good.

The extra-special treat?  The movie muckety-mucks in Hollywood must have known how much I love the Terminator movies because they decided to release the movie right before my birthday.  How sweet, right?  I can’t think of a better, more thoughtful gift from them!

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