I have to preface this picture with a disclaimer, so here we go.

I am on vacation, and have been for nigh on two weeks.  I have applied makeup approximately four times during this two week period.  This morning was not one of those times.  I am not consumptive, nor have I caught a dread illness.  This is just what I look like without my trusty cosmetics.

Phew!  Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I can show off what 32 weeks of pregnancy looks like for me:

Look! You can actually see out the window because this photo was not taken before work! Hi, wheelbarrow and work shed!

Even though my belly feels huge to me, I don’t think it looks nearly as big as it feels.  I keep getting comments from people about how small I look, and it boggles the heck out of my mind because  it’s the first time in my life people have commented on how small I am.

Now, strictly speaking, I am not small at all belly-wise.  My measurements are all exactly where they should be, Squishy is a nice, normal size for his age, and my weight gain is actually on the low side of normal.

I think the illusion of smallness stems from how large I am in general.  During pregnancy, everyone’s uterus expands and grows at more or less the same rate.  A 32 week belly looks a lot smaller on a 5′ 11″ torso than it does on a 5′ 2″ torso.  Hence, comments that I’m small.

I think this may also be why I have yet to have a single stranger ask me when I’m due or try to touch my tummy.  I think people just assume that’s my holiday paunch and leave well enough alone.

Still, though.  I don’t feel small.  I feel like the Incredible Hulk when I realize that I burst out of all my sweatpants save one pair.  My belly feels impossibly big when I have to change how I chop vegetables because the knife keeps hitting my stomach.

I’m big, but I’m not.  It’s an enigma wrapped in a contradiction, like finding a chocolate covered pretzel in a fat free snacks bag.