Oh April Fool’s Day, you heartless cad. You kick down my door every year and stick around like an unwelcome house guest; soiling the handtowels, eating the decorative soaps, and being a huge pain in my rear. I despise your tricks, I hate the jerk you bring out in some people, and I highly resent the feelings of paranoia and vulnerability you bring out in me.
In the words of the inimitable Gollum: Leave now, and never come back!
I can’t help it if I’m gullible! What’s even worse than being gullible is knowing you’re gullible and enduring a whole day set aside for taking advantage of people just like you. It’s like being two feet tall and wearing a foam kick-me sign on your back.
The day was not a total wash, thankfully. Wes told me I was pretty (FTW!), I wrote a boat-load of content for work (it may have been a dinghy, but it still counts as a boat, ok?), and I was not the victim of any April Fools Day pranks. This last thing is coincidentally the reason I’m not sitting in prison for aggravated assault, in case you were wondering about that.
One really weird thing that happened is that I had the most boring dream of all time. After an intro like that, I bet you’re just salivating to hear it, aren’t you? The very ennui-inducing nature of the dream makes it remarkable, though, so I’m obligated to share it.
I was babsitting my four year old niece and she was being naughty so I put her on time out. Then I sat there and watched her do time out. It was so boring I even remember thinking “This has to be the most boring dream ever.” It was actually kind of nice when the alarm went off, though I am curious about what she would have done if I hadn’t woken up. Probably break into a tap dance routine with a bunch of popsicle-eating babboons wearing banana shoes and twee tuxedos. Dang, now I’m kind of sad I missed that.
What’s the most boring dream you’ve ever had and/or the lamest April Fool’s Day scheme you’ve witnessed?